that’s just science

I am considered a damn good cook - not like a pro, but I learned from my late in-laws who were actual professional gourmet chefs in Italy and Spain (both cuisines that rely heavily on garlic).

Timeless classics!

I bet you liked GoBots too.

Right, I read through a bunch of the recent comics and most of them just make no sense. A black hole of vacuousness. At least Garfield has an ethos.

what a piece of shit you have to be to get expanded sexual assault laws named after you. like what a fucking piece of shit. i hope it is so widely called the schneider loophole that this motherfucker gets called out every time he applies for a job or uses his credit card or has any occasion to share his last name.…

Good news, ladies! The next time Schneider commits this crime, because why wouldn’t he, he’ll actually go to prison for it!

What about tackling and strangling someone? Maybe that’s not a sex offense, but surely tackling and strangling someone is against the law, whether you masturbate on them or not? How did he not get jail time for that?

Well... sometimes it is.

A shoeseum. 

Ah, yes, a museum for shoes.

Yeah, $150 for shoes is excessive to me, and I grew up in the neighborhood from Edward Scissorhands.

She’s angling for a “Real Housewives” spot.

Oh come on! Ivanka is like 30% neck.

Louise Linton is the main reason I feel good about all the guillotine stock I bought back in January 2017 

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

They have done the nearly impossible. Making unripe fruit look moldy.