Amy Schumer had a hysterical bit in her latest comedy special about her husband, who happens to be on the spectrum. Apparently, he thought that the thing to do when Schumer was in the hospital vomiting everything she’s eaten since she was 12 was to paint her portrait, and in the process, uh, didn’t exactly capture…

Julia’s a mensch.

I’m in favor of political correctness. I’m suspicious of those who have a problem with it. I think it is language for something else–for ‘It’s O.K. to make racist jokes,’ or ‘It’s O.K. to make violence-against-women jokes.’

I prefer to speak my foreign languages the traditional American way which is to SHOUT...AS...LOUDLY...AND...SLOWLY...IN...ENGLISH three inches away from the other person’s face.

Real question(s): How did you not go super squirrely in the head? I mean, at some point in that three months you surely wanted to quit, right? And when it was all done, what was it like going from being prone to upright again? 

“Sometimes” pancakes? Nein, Fritz. We need a firm commitment to a steady supply of pancakes or no deal.

Me on the ZLS. 

I can sing German Lieder. Does that count?

A little over a decade ago I actually did this!!!!

They just took it from recordings of his stage act. There’s now a bunch of questioning of Woody’s sexuality that makes the film pretty awkward.

Watching Jesus Christ, Superstar, as a young and impressionable child has given me a high level of contempt for versions of Christ’s life not set in the 1970s and featuring Carl Anderson and his cleavage. (Pictured: what Bible stories should look like, according to me)

no one cares about your son's boners.

Assuming she’s the mother of a Notre Dame student, that kid must be mortified.

But you couldn’t help but see those blackly naked rear ends.

Why the heck is someone’s mom writing for the student paper?  

It’s not like there aren’t preachers in the US right now who advocate killing homosexuals or sending them all to an island. Most of society labels them nutjobs, but they are out there. And let’s remember, we currently have a vice president who supports conversion therapy which is essentially a form of torture. I’m…

I dunno, I’m pretty sure the average Trump voter would definitely look the other way when it comes to the stoning. They may not want to act like they support it but they definitely wouldn’t want to change it if it cost them something like... abortion, a border wall, or equal rights.

This will leave the Regressives in Oklahoma so conflicted.