lizardpeoplespokesperson
Director of Communications, Lizard People Confederation
lizardpeoplespokesperson

Man, hope that dude doesn’t run into Brian McCann anytime soon.

Don’t “both sides” this shit. One of the two parties is actively obstructing anything resembling progress on these issues.

Oh sure it looks bad, but that's only because you put exactly what they said into print with the appropriate amount of context around it to get across exactly what they were trying to say!

Well he didn’t assault any women, so his CV was found a bit thin.

Somewhere, Jon Gruden is scribbling ideas into his playbook...

I enjoyed the hell out of this because she reminds me so much of many, many smug old ladies I was acquainted with when I was growing up in rural Alabama.  And the first thing I thought was she would have died had she been black. Absolutely.

I love to recite this every chance I get: law enforcement is the only profession to ever be involved in a landmark discrimination case (Jordan v. The City of New London) for refusing to hire an individual because they were too intelligent.

The 3-5 minutes I spent writing it was the highlight of my day. Which is sad for several reasons. 

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

... Unlock that door, and you may be headed to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Assemble the statue there, and you may move on to the Wave Pool. If you survive both the correctly functioning waves AND the accidental tsunami, it may lead you to the Pavement! From there, you must climb into the Ambulance and race to

Design meeting attended by only various versions of 11 year-old me

Don’t worry, that water was 40% urine before the accident.

Design meeting:

What should the failure mode be for the wave generator?”
“Nothing, it should just die quietly and stop functioning.”
“We could do that. Or.. and hear me out on this one...”

First game I went to was a game where the Patriots killed Buffalo.”

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my

The Bills once being Super Bowl contenders is like the Republican Party once championing black civil rights: a historical fact that seems like a myth and also something that will never, ever happen again. 

I’m a Lions fan living in NW PA. I took my family (including my 12 year old daughter) to the Lions/Bills game last year. Within 150ft of where we parked the car, she saw 2 keg stands and a drunken woman writhing in the mud. My wife gave me a furious look and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and mumble “Bills

Am I the only guy who thinks of this guy when they talk about Peterman at QB?

I just got off the phone with President Xi, and he assured me that he and I are hang dai

But will they do it while deeply concerned? Or seriously concerned?