There is literally a guy with an “A” on his helmet, and stars and stripes on his shield called CAPTAIN AMERICA - who leads the charge against that character. I know this shouldn’t piss me off so much but golly.

My suspicion is that the waffles are how he’ll pass his powers through. Otherwise, why the hell is he taking the time to cook at that moment? 

I think we’re far closer to solving nuclear fusion than convincing Karens to use the correct lane. 

“Stick is candy!”

This leads us to one question....is Joe Flacco an elite backup quarterback?

I feel pretty confident I could have done the falling over part

All I know is my gut says maybe

Yes, they do have a lot of former head coaches on their staff. A lot of BAD former head coaches.

Lets remember some Buicks

This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

Fucking Christ, I’m trying to eat.

Rosebud is a sled.

Unfortunately, he’s gonna get traded to another marriage next season for a late-round draft pick.

Does your wife know he went to Harvard? 

I’ve sold monorails to Gang Mills, Lawrenceville, and Elkland, and by gum, it put them on the map!

My wife and I have been looking for a spark in the bedroom, and surprisingly it was also Ryan Fitzpatrick. 

+1 American Exceptionalism which is currently +1.32 Canadian...

“Watching the team try to form some sort of coherent offensive strategy last night was like watching a monkey try to fuck a football.”

Look, Trubisky has only been in this system for a year....sorry wrong thread. 

But c’mon, this is Canada.