To be fair, J.R.R. Tolkien and the other Inklings were known for prank calling the Cambridge Reporter in the early 60s. The ‘big news’ may well have turned out to be ‘your mother’s posterior’, followed by gales of Oxonian laughter down the phone line.

Tomorrow’s article: The Top AV Club commentors talking about their favorite AV Club comments.

AV CLUB

Ehhhh there’s kind of a difference between forcing yourself to smile on your own and someone else pressuring you into it. I actually think it helps, personally.

The main problem with this mirror is how dangerous it is. I looked in one with a friend. His reflection showed up. Mine didn’t. Naturally, I concluded that I was a vampire who had to feed on human blood to survive. Which I then did. Thanks for killing my friend, you dumb mirror!

The seedy underbelly of cheerful 50's suburban conformity has for decades fascinated filmmakers and approximately nobody else.

There’s a perfectly good explanation: I am dumb

Obviously he was. This is one of the biggest wink-wink-nudge-nudge denials I’ve ever heard.

Flagged for being a MENACE!

Peter Parker, first and last of his name.

It is now possible to be first and one of the last at the same time. The AV club is a graveyard of it’s former self, slayed by the mighty kinjapocalypse.

Sigh...if only firsties still mattered here. Oh well. In memory of the old AVClub, I hereby infect you with cancerAIDS. Enjoy.

First!

I’d call graphite a more boring arrangement of carbon atoms than diamonds are. Seriously, all those right angles? Blah. Is it just me?

Complicity is better than inaction. ‘Being a bystander seems worse, somehow.’ - Chidi

God, it’s such a hard call to make. His “Wait, what?” reax last season were my everything... right up until this episode, when he turned slowly to Michael and said, “...IN MY MOUTH!!!”

In literally no universe did I ever expect to see a Kierkegaard rap on network television, but here we are.

Dammit I wanted to be the one to make that correction.

OK, I see what’s going on now. Michael’s finger snap gave it away. This secretly a Star Trek show and they’re all trapped in the Q Continuum being pranked by a bunch of bored omnipotent beings.

Jason complained that he tells Tahani that she’s pretty, but she never says it to him. Hey Manny Jacinto, you’re very pretty!