I literally want to actually kill myself reading the insane number of stupid comments related to this article. What the actually fuck is wrong with you people?

There is some sonic boom level whooshing going on up in here.

High negative correlation between ability to understand a joke and willingness to post a hostile, premature, and dumbass comment.

Did it mess up your hair when the joke whizzed right over your head?

Your impression of an idiot is truly inspired. Well done. #makesportsjournalismgreatagain

Can’t slip anything past you.

Uh... the Patriots won the Super Bowl last year after signing Revis. The Broncos are in the AFC championship after signing Ware, Talib, and Ward two offseasons ago.

“My password is unbreakable. It’s the name of my favorite player and his career slugging percentage.”

The highlight of my life arrived when I fired up a vid console and saw me, LT #77, right there in virtual reality. Every time one of my kids hits another milestone in their pathetic lives I have to go home, turn on my PS2, and see me, LT #77, in crystal clear virtual reality, in order to feel anything at all. My…

“Herbstreit would be in a less charitable mood if his ESPN salary were to suddenly be replaced by free room and board and a bit of spending money.”

“They’re just thrilled to be on the game. They love being on the game. It’s like the biggest highlight of their life, is to be on the game.”

The one on the right has a bright future in soccer.

I was really touched by the pain and grief on that child’s face right before he hits his brother in the balls.

HEY! LAY OFF ROVELL, DAMN IT!

To be fair, Eddie Lacy is a size 0 in Wisconsin.

Feast Mode.

Typical millennial. All meme meme meme.

IF YOU HAVE A PARTIALLY TORN LCL, COACHES MAY MAKE YOU PLAY.

Nothing worse than seeing a former teammate, leader, and inspiration leaving a trail of tears as he walks out the door, one Blackfoot following the other.

It only takes two things to set off a jez writer: white and male