I’m sure he would be the first one to defend a black man who runs police because of a paralyzing fear that he would be attacked....

Nah, why? #notalawyer but I don’t think the leggings are considered “stolen” until the person leaves and you can’t just hold someone hostage in a store because you think they plan on stealing. Not to mention, I’m sure Lululemon is insured for this sort of thing. 

This. As if three months ago they had zero responsibility to fact-check what they told vulnerable (and/or stupid) readers. 

“Your honor, he left his socks on so that clearly isn’t rape-rape.”

It’s because they aren’t thinking about the victim, they’re thinking about the perpetrator. 

I bet if we shoved a finger into either of these douchebags against their will, they would consider it rape. 

Is his lawyer Miracle Max?

Raj Shah is so terrible at his current job, I can’t imagine him getting promoted. 

Anything an out-of-stater can do to help those new Floridians register to vote?

The current moms (minus Farrah) are ten times classier than Bristol. They’ve worked hard to raise their kids, finish school, find careers, and navigate a variety of health challenges along the way. I don’t consider that trashy. 

I wish I had learned this when I was younger and I wish I used it more now. That, and just asking people what they mean and letting them dig themselves into a hole. 

Possible responses for the next time:

Don’t forget eliminating gluten. I wish I were kidding. 

#1. If you are a woman, do not volunteer to be the note taker. And if you were assigned the task of note taker last time, make sure someone else does it next time. 

I had a boss who demanded that we supply a dr’s note if we ever called in sick on a Friday or Monday. I wish I knew then what I know now, I would have escalated that to corporate so fast. 

Like the story of the drug-addicted mother who gave her baby to a cop who busted her.

So it’s Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead for 40-somethings. I dig it. 

To my friends in Louisiana: Please find out where they are filming and book a mariachi band to play through every scene they try and film. I’ll kick in $$ for the band. 

I think she came out a few years ago and said that her son “recovered” from autism. And then she said she didn’t mean it.

She calls him Donald.