Jokes on them. Floyd doesn’t know what the shirt says.

I bet to chickens, cockroaches probably taste like...chicken.

What a bunch of baloney.

There is only one acceptable outcome here. Right before McGregor gets knocked unconscious, he forgets it’s a boxing match and kicks Mayweather in the head knocking him out.

On the upside, we now know that Zillow sucks.

Can we just play through this Presidency?

Church stops telling people who and how to fuck, people will stop bring their fucking-related issues to church.

Nah, it’s a Holocaust joke. I won’t go there. But here’s one that’s borderline...

Anna, aren’t we all simply hiding in a pickup truck in the greater scheme of things?

My hot take that I’ve been screaming since McGregor came out saying he wanted to fight Floyd: This is so fucking stupid. I don’t get the hype; it’s like trying to argue that Sidney Crosby is better than Cristiano Ronaldo simply because they both play a sport where the object is to score a goal.

I would like to take this opportunity to announce that my mission to Mars will also launch on August 26.

Can we crowdsource some protips for driving after drinking, or is that more for Lifehacker.

Tip No. 1 — if your face at all feels like this:

Does the dog make it?

To be fair, if my plane crashes and the only survivors are me and Idris Elba then I’m totally going to try to fuck him. Hell, I might try to fuck Kate Winslet too...I mean, if I’m probably going to die anyway then at least I’ll die having ticked that of my “to-do” list.

I went and found my password just to give this a star. Also, apropos of nothing to do with basketball, for at least 15 years I thought he was singing, “the sun and air,” which makes about 5% as much sense, but doesn’t necessarily dismiss with Moz.

I really thought the Knicks would slip into the top two just so they could draft him and watch as the city burns to the ground.

Rooting for the C’s to pick Ball and have his dad stonewall the deal

Gordon Hayward in a Maroon 5 haircut playing in front 15,000 extras from the set of Village of the Damned. 

On the scale of literary unforgivable acts by children, I’d give it a 7 or 8 where Briony Tallis in Atonement is of course a 10.  

Drew obviously wasn’t in California a lot in the 1990s and early 2000s, because he would have heard these songs a lot: