We could send Richard Sherman. Same people hate both of them about equally.

Sounds like y’all are saying that Drake’s got enemies, got a lot of enemies. That he’s got a lot of people trying to drain him of his energy.

[reads word “songhazi”]

I found a higher res version

Zika Field.

I’ve often said the only thing missing from the Fedex field experience is a dedicated mosquito preserve on premises.

Trump response will probably along the lines of “none of the women in the ad are attractive.”

LeBron James should really stick to subtweeting.

We don’t need no stinkin’ traffic lights.

Shut the fuck up and get me my fries.

It’s so romantic when a couple saves themselves for their second marriage.

Bear Friday is the only thing that keeps me from attempting to press my bosses face into the paper shredder at the end of every week. Such majestic, powerful beasts.

Best looking first lady ever, right?

These things are so kitschy, if they weren’t used for fundraising, you could easily do a bit of message jamming. Like this:

So there I was sitting in traffic wondering whether to get an abortion or get a manicure. Then I saw this license plate. Totally changed my mind. Thanks, judgy plate. My nails look great now.

Let’s say you are in a hotel in Sydney, Australia and a few of your Japanese co-workers invite you up one floor to their room to hang out and get stoned. Let’s say that even though you are in your pajama’s you decide to take them up on your offer.

Miracle Whip is so unlike mayo it can’t call itself mayo. It’s salad dressing.

she refuses to let me continue the usage of my beach towels

“Her: godly, gorgeous, athletic, educated, careered, humorous, travelled, bilingual, 26-year-old virgin. You: unworthy, though becoming less so daily.”