I get that tattoos are not for everyone and personal taste and all that, but equating tattoos to self-harm is pretty shitty.

I don’t understand why mirror selfie-takers do not first tidy up their surroundings. Just... is this the image you want to present to the world?

I went on a few dates with a guy who revealed on the third date that he had the faces of his mother and two aunts tattooed on his ribcage. Big, lifelike faces. And that, my friends, was the end of that! Wasn’t super into him anyway, but the thought of sleeping with him and having his mom and aunts looking at me was a…

I love the Protein drink next to the chips a hoy.

Not that you’d fuck him anyway, but imagine trying to have sex with someone while their mother’s eye stared at you out of their elbow pit. There’s not enough protection on earth to save you from the horror of that.

There’s also a lot of juices and snacks in that bathroom for me, a human being who prefers to do my shitting and my eating in distinct areas. And who stores their toothbrush IN the sink? Do you leave it there when you wash your hands, and let the soapy wastewater douse it?

“And the spoon. Am not rushing to conclusions as to the spoon”

That is the most 20-something-boy bathroom I’ve ever seen.

I find myself far more curious about the hair band in front of the sink (a coded message to Selena?), and the black powder dusted to the side. Charcoal for brushing teeth? Speaking of which, his toothbrush is in the middle of the sink? Signaling laziness? Creativity? Eccentricity? So he is always apprised of its…

Ack-shun

Imagine Bobby, unable to find joy because of this assignment.

I wouldn’t have thought a brain surgeon could display a complete lack of knowledge on all subjects outside of poking brains with a knife before HUD Secretary Ben Carson got in to politics, but now I’m more willing to believe that a brilliant heart surgeon is more akin to a really good car mechanic with no transferable…

Well, on the one hand, people with diabetes are at increased risk of atherosclerotic heart disease. On the other hand, Dr. Oz is a total quack who relies on stupid visual gimmicks to display his stunningly poor grasp of most medical concepts.

I think the glass was supposed to represent the damage diabetes does to the blood vessels. Blood-vessel damage is thought to be one of the causes of atherosclerosis.

• Dan Buettner said, “It’s very hard to be happy if you have chronic pain, or are depressed, or watch the wrong morning show.”

• Megyn Kelly began her tease of the show by saying, “This morning on Megyn Kelly Today: Kidney beans, whole wheat pasta, and fava beans?”

Where did you get a gif of me trying to climb the rope in elementary school?

• Bobby Finger thought, “Lotta scammers on the show today!”

A shard of glass representing diabetes, covered in cholesterol? Does... Dr. Oz know nothing about diabetes? Or cholesterol? I know he’s a heart surgeon (some kind of surgeon?) But I also feel most people have a basic understanding that diabetes relates to “sugar”

I don’t believe for one second that Dr. Oz has nuts anywhere on his person.