I have a lot of sympathy for them. I live in the Pacific Northwest where woo (psudoscience) is endemic. I fell down a black hole of postpartum depression after my son was born; I was desperate to feel better. I spent money on so many dumb things over the course of the year. I was surrounded by people who were…

Via Facebook, I have watched a friend from college turn into this person over the last 5 years. Just today she was crowdsourcing at-home, “natural” cures for strep throat and I was just like “strep throat can lead to rheumatic fever. Go get an antibiotic, you idiot.”

It’s very easy for me to be sympathetic to the people who buy this stuff, because usually they’re not so much gullible as desperate. If you have a chronic condition like fibromyalgia that medical science still hasn’t made much progress in treating, you really do need some kind of hope that your days and nights aren’t…

THIS RIGHT HERE. The Goop website, like so many hucksters before it, has figured out how to monetize the despair of women who aren’t listened to.

“Essentially, the “mother wound” is the result of the Western patriarchy that has scarred women for generations, a scar so deep that it’s handed down generationally, from mother to daughter, and results in fatigue and postnatal depletion.”

Yep; there’s nothing wrong with taking a multivitamin. But what these people want is to take ninety dollar multivitamins that have passed through the blessed hands of St Gwennie herself. It’s no different than buying baseball cards or comic books.

There are ways to ingest your weed that are less likely to cause coughing, have you considered switching to a bong or vaping?

I second the referral to a PT that specializes in pelvic floor therapy - they’ve worked miracles for some of my patients. I’ve also seen some PTs recommend what are basically barbells for the vagina to increase vaginal tone, but they’re surgical grade stainless steel, not porous jade.

If you are feeling negative, they’re not all coming out. Or else you have so many that one entire week of getting them out barely puts in a dent. If you send me $50 I will send you an egg to sit on which will absorb all of your excess negative emotions. It comes with the added benefit of a baby chicken hatching about…

I live in Los Angeles, which I like, but every out-of-work actress becomes a yoga teacher or “wellness expert.” What’s a wellness expert? It basically translates to “I didn’t go to school or anything, but I took a trip to (India or Fiji) and am now somehow qualified to push rocks, crystals, berries and odd supplements…

forever and ever and ever

You can actually ask for a referral to a pelvic physical therapist to do guided exercises and get better at isolating the muscles you need to, because a lot of women don’t do kegels very effectively and never realize they’re using the wrong muscles. There are also pessaries for when the muscles just aren’t keeping up…

I’d skip it. The materials are porous which would harbor bacteria and definitely don’t share it - cases of herpes have been reported between users who shared them.

But there’s a difference between having a diagnosed thyroid problem and some spiritual healer saying your adrenal glands are “run into exhaustion.” My mom has Hashimotos and had to have her thyroid removed. My aunt and grandmother have hypothyroid as well, though not as severe so they did not have to go through…

Stop carrying your negative emotions in your uterus and you may have an easier time. Once you push them out you will be able to access your power better. I keep all of my negative emotions in my anus, so I can get rid of them daily.

Lena Dunham and Cameron Diaz will appear alongside Goop experts like Serrallach and Junger. Ticket tiers are named after different gemstones, and range in price from $500 to $1,500.

Get good sleep, eat more fiber and green stuff, move around, jettison assholes in your life and have a hobby. That’s my advice, now someone give me a gabillion dollars for my wisdom.

I stopped reading at:

Just goes to show, the road to hell is paved with Goop intentions.

Jesus Christ. Postnatal depletion? Yeah, every f-ing day as a single parent of a 6 year old. The only thing that seems to help with it is either beer or mirobrews. Fuck Goop. Seriously.