The “news” part is that E. Coli may not be the culprit.

Honey, MOST women have had a UTI, whether or not you’ve heard from them about it. Do you think all of them are allowing someone to f* their butt and then their vag? (hint: that’s incredibly, incredibly rare because we’re not idiots.) And do you honestly think the vast majority people run around with shit all over…

If it were only that simple.

You should read an article before criticizing it.

You’re an idiot if you think wiping or washing gets rid of literally millions of microscopic organisms.

Well not really, plain old soap isn’t going to kill e-coli, toilet paper definately won’t, and there’s no way in hell I’m bleaching my vagina. Motion and sweat will cause bacteria to move around in both genders, and even the cleanest woman in the world can’t escape the fact that the vagina and the anus are only…

You’d be surprised how many fecal particles are all over the place, even if you think you’ve cleaned yourself.

UTIs exist because sex in all its forms is Satan’s dirty, disgusting, and evil work and treatment should not be covered by insurance because women will continue to be promiscuous if they can get easy treatment.

That’s not what the article is about.

I just hover over the link to read what the URL says, which is probably more entertaining than actually clicking through to read.

Bobby, why so many links to click? I never click the links. I just want a pithy sentence full of wit about what happened.

Liza Minnelli moving in with a gay man is not news. It’s restoring the balance. 

Ärket?

 I thought an arket was a tiny boat that Noah might use to save tiny little animals like hamsters and gerbils.

My favorite tidbit of the day is that Rex Tillerson does not allow any State Dept employees to speak to him or look him in the eyes. Our nation’s top diplomat, ladies and gentlemen!

Tupid.

I feel like Halle Berry only fatter, whiter, and duder

n other J Lo news, she’s reportedly being sued by a custom hoverboard company for not holding up her end of a promotional deal.

But Franken also majored in government and graduated cum laude from Harvard...

Counterpoint: Al Franken!