littlejoecartwright
Little Joe Cartwright is ready for the Apocalypse
littlejoecartwright

The doorman’s name is Manny, and he was just shining you on, Don.

Do the parents think he’s the Real Slim Shady?

I remember one episode, Doug laid down on the homeowners’ new dining table and the rivet on his jeans left a huge scratch on the table.

Dez Ryan. She was kooky, as opposed to mean-spirited like Hildy.

We took a family vacation to Japan this past summer. My daughter still misses the hotel toilet. She has the same housing goal as you.

The Property Brothers always run into knob and tube wiring. They just find cheaper tile to adjust costs and move on. I like those boys.

I liked a lot of Laurie’s rooms. I remember she would always do a couple of Mondrian inspired canvases in every room she did.

The spouse wants to sell the house, and then gets pissed the reno budget is going to the leak in the basement or the charred roof truss in the attic. Like how were you going to be able to sell the house with that damage?

Still haven’t forgiven him for Dale’s death. You had one job, Carl, stay in the goddamned house.

They spent the wig budget on CGI quarry zombies. Seems a little sloppy for Nicotero.

Sometimes, I yell “Stay in the house, Carl,” while watching TWD, just for old times’ sake. He’s shaping up okay, though.

My money is on the Wolves. Or the sullen Ron, looking to foil Rick’s plan at the cost of Alexandria’s safety.

I live in Phoenix, and in the summer I sweat so much, I joke about installing a salt lick in my house.

Was that over her jury duty joke? “I love all races...”

How about “dainties?” I yell across the house, “I’m washing dainties! Bring me your hampers!” The boys in my house just love it.

I live in Phoenix, but my brother is in Austin. When I saw his property taxes, I gasped. They’re four times the rate here.

No state income tax, but your property tax can be super high.

As a non-celebrity, do I get funny looks when I ask to hold people’s babies.

Cheese puddle. I die.

Aching back. Swollen ankles. Shoes won’t fit. Indigestion. What’s not to love?