This sounds a bit like a Boston fan trying to make it seem more like a Pats win than a Seahawks loss

Because it's his only chance to play past Conference Championship Sunday

First league investigation of improperly deflated balls that didn't involve PED use.

Here's the thing that all the Paterno corpse fellaters fail to appreciate: Paterno could have ended this whole thing with one phone call. No, not to the cops or the school administration; to the media. You want justice in this country while maintaining your reputation? You call a fucking journalist and tell them…

The point is not that it's nothing — the point is that the players' playoff wages are absurdly low when compared to how much the owners/NFL are making per nanosecond via TV revenue.

Nauseating tripe, I'm supposed to "care" because McDonald's occasionally puts up nice signs? Pandering to the military is the lowest form of pandering there is.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you the tale of Saint Basil Fuckoff, the patron saint of waiters and bartenders.

Leave it to a creationist to start making shit up.

How is Piazza a suspected juicer, but not the guy that pitched until he was 46?

I assume CNN's last transmission will actually be a shot of Wolf Blitzer - cold and tired from the months of running from the machines - eating Don Lemon's head.

From now on I'm only referring to Southerners as Civil War Losers

Shorter Rovell: "Uppity uppity uppity."

Also, if your Halloween costume needs a nametag, it sucks regardless.

"Is there an opinion so bad even Amanda Fucking Palmer can't hold it"

I got into a big fight with my husband about this last night. He was all "better to be safe than sorry" and I argued that YOU CANNOT LEGISLATE BASED ON WHAT YOU FEAR MIGHT HAPPEN, YOU NEED TO BASE POLICY ON ACTUAL FACTS. ahem, sorry. I'm still worked up about the stupidity of it all.

You have given me great joy and will be rewarded in the afterlife.

Asked what time she expected him to arrive, Ms. Rhimes replied "not really sure—he's tough to nail down."

Best Klans In Baseball

And I'm tired of rich people (minority) running this country too.

Sorry but there's no intelligent discourse with people whose opinion is "My sky friend told me you shouldn't do that".