With how much money Bautista is making in the pictures, he might even be one of the few wrestlers whose “retirement” is actually retirement.

Whenever the television money bubble finally finds enough cords cut to burst, it’s gonna be really fun watching teams scramble back to markets where they have to make their money by... gasp... selling tickets to normal human beings again.

For my money, the... general overall design of the unis are fine if boring, it’s the fonts they used for the letters, that with kind of italic slanty thing, and the odd overly simplified blocky numbers that knock it out of the park as ugly as fuck.

The liminal space between the work, the shoot and the worked shoot is not just professional wrestling’s story, it’s America’s story. Check out Kevin Young’s book on the history of the American hoax and its intersection with racism “Bunk: The Rise of Hoaxes, Humbug, Plagiarists, Phonies, Post-Facts, and Fake News” and…

LUKEWARM TAKE: it’s not bad but it sort of overcomplicates what’s supposed to be the simple joy of a hamburger.

Boo Harper for being a smarmy glory-boy scumbag, not for getting paid.

I am ready to die on Astro-Pop hill.

Because the constant disappointment, heartbreak and despair at the hands of born-rich conmen and idiots toughens us up to better deal with the American Reality.

Twizzlers are that awesome artificial strawberry flavour. Red Vines are weird muted cherry. That’s the main Twizzler advantage. I can see preferring Red Vines’ texture or shape but Twizzlers have ‘em beat in taste by so much that you can’t make it close.

The amazing thing is that despite Gardner being a boring-ass player who is the new king of “gritty white guys” for racist old-school types, he’s still the least punchable face on the Yankees roster. That’s... I mean, that’s a really unlikeable team right there.

Keuchel’s out there for pennies on the dollar and the ownership is busying themselves by throwing meaningless travel at their major league team just to try and get more people to buy tickets for their AAA team. The Wilpons just keep lowering the bar for what “bush league” means.

So who’s gonna ruin him, you think, the Knicks or the Lakers?

The instructive thing about the way the press covers the NFL is that it’s the same kind of limp craven access journalism that runs D.C. coverage, except without the layer of pretending to have ethics that political reportage still clings to. It’s a good reminder what that sycophancy looks like without the kabuki of…

The umlauts aren’t umlauts, they’re genital warts.

I thought this article was written just to get to write the line “long time family friend to the balls” and then I saw that their financial advisor is somehow named “Hunble”. Hunble Lukanga sounds like the name of Ikea’s Nutella knock-off. Everything within two Bacon-degrees of this family is completely absurd.

People pretend that negative reinforcement works because they like being assholes and they excuse other people doing it so that they can keep doing it. The same reason billionaires try to excuse other billionaires for getting hand-jobs from sex traffic slaves at strip malls in Bumfuck Florida... so they’ll get excused…

I enjoy that the only way you can be more hateable than Duke is to be with Trump. Duke would at least have the snootiness to say “we could have accomplished all the same racism and tax fuckery with the dignity of a Mitt Romney at the helm, you know, old boy” which... passes for less evil these days.

When I was at Syracuse, I will always remember when a particularly smart wide-receiver, injured, unable to practice during the spring semester, was trying to expand his horizons by taking a relatively intensive screenwriting class... and was pulled after the second week because the coaches told him it would take up…

I wonder how much of this comment section is going to be “I’m siding with the born-rich billionaires over the millionaires who had to work their asses off for it because the billionaires are a lot whiter than the millionaires are!” Stockholm Syndrome horseshit.

If there is something funnier (in a harmless, not in a “the world is ending, all we can so is laugh” funny way) it’s the names of the AAF teams. The Salt Lake Stallions has to be made up as a joke but it isn’t. These teams are named by a combination of a committee of fourth-grade boys named Braicen and a random number…