Throw a banana slice in there. Thin, at least a little charred too, so that it’s heavier on the sweet than the fruity but there you go.

Somebody’s trying to cash in on that Tebow/MAGA speakers’ fee cash train, huh?

Wilpons have been enjoying pretending they’re spending money on Wright while collecting insurance on Wright and decided, hey, let’s try it with the damn ballfield too.

Hanging onto 3-D as a film format, man, that isn’t just “unironically dabbing in 2018” played-out, that isn’t even “making a Harlem Shake video in 2018" played out. That is some “making a Mr. T Ate My Balls meme page on geocities in 2018" played out shit.

Having the photo for this include the last known picture of someone wearing a Billy Joel shirt unironically (by this point, even Billy Joel knows himself to be a vacuum of aching mediocrity) is just... *Italian chef kissing the air*... perfect.

So like Taloon in Dragon Warrior 4? Rock on.

If we manage to survive as a species, in some relatively near future, they are gonna look at football the way we look at gladiatorial sport and beat-bating. Hell, it’s fun to watch in the moment but... you’re watching these people literally kill themselves.

I’ve always wondered why Cleveland didn’t have a hockey team when goddamned Vegas and Tampa Bay did. It still doesn’t make sense but it makes closer to sense with this article. Thank you!

Zlatan Ibrahimović sounds like a Cajun-Hungarian fusion dish. Rice and paprika are involved.

I want to enjoy the story of an expansion team in the finals but... it’s a warm-weather city with hockey so I can’t. Imagine if this was a team in Quebec City doing this. THAT would be cool.

As always, the true villain is golf itself and all involved afflicted with golf-related madness.

He was still a lot better than Jose Reyes, the millstone around every Mets fan’s throat.

I can’t believe an inbred trust fund baby gets to marry a successful and attractive artist but what the hell do I know?

Heavens, you never collected original He-Man toys, did you? The variety in the TMNT line looks like a galaxy of stars against the repetition in the MOTU line.

As An Old, I can tell you that Donatello is the best turtle because his weapon had more reach in the early video games. No more, no less, the best.

Mack as the director... for now... is the beginning of the story, not the end, I think. We’re still on an arc for Daisy to ascend but in a way where she earns it, not just because her surrogate father anointed her, y’know?

I have had what an “Ed Sheeran” is explained to me so many times but every time it was so boring that I just kind of remember “a singer, maybe?” My brain is protecting itself.

I can only imagine how much threat she must’ve put under to recant the truth like this, holy shit, what a terrible place to be in the world, to be victimized once and then again.

Counterpoint: in Trump’s Bad Timeline, sometimes it’s okay to let yourself just have dumb fun because, Christ, everything is burning down around us, if a superhero making the swears is brief balm in Gilead, it’s not the worst thing.

Whoever said “when you fight monsters, you become them” was a monster looking to dissuade opposition. Fuck this guy. Hound him to hell and back.