Tim Tebow’s pretending to be a baseball player because Jesus, Trump’s pretending to be president because racism, this is the “fight” we deserve, not the one we want or need. Fuck 2017.

She won. It was fixed and she still won. The alt-left got played into forgetting the perfect is the enemy of the good, they voted for Russia Today’s candidate Jill Stein and it opened the door a crack to let Trump cheat his way in and now literal Nazis are in the White House.

Beating back the fascists at the door is the only thing that matters, right now. Anyone who says otherwise is a privilege-soaked Bernie-Deadender who only cares about their own pet projects and not the people of colour and gay folks and woman literally losing their human rights.

The only good thing about this is knowing that when he starts playing actual prospects in their actual 20s at AA, he is going to get laughed out of the Rumble Ponies which... will be great because the name Rumble Ponies is already funny as hell.

Brilliant satire!

The Profits Privatized, The Losses Socialized, In Thirty Minutes Or Less

2017 is the year of the giant dumb frauds that everyone can see through, happening as though they’re real anyway because a handful of rich guys will get slightly richer off them.

My PULP FICTION take is that it’s both a well-crafted movie with some really good parts AND the light made of gun violence in it makes me wanna puke. This is both my actual take and probably the harshest take you can legitimately make about PULP FICTION.

I understand that sports are all about sucking out a few more shekels with naming rights these days but when it’s the “Irish Open” but the first word in the name is “Dubai” that is actually pointlessly confusing.

Extending one’s losing streak against a team which would add the corpse of Bartolo Colon as an upgrade is a sad sad thing and I should know, my Mets are too crappy right now to even GET the corpse of Bartolo Colon as an upgrade.

This Kinja thread marks the longest an article where the thing in the main picture looks like a cock and balls and no one mentions how it looks like a cock and balls. Apologies for spoiling this run.

It’s like they said in SANDMAN, the price of getting what you want is that you get the thing that you ONCE wanted.

And every single one of these schmucks is infinitely more qualified to play baseball professionally than Tim Tebow. These fumbling yahoos right here? If Tebow gets called up to Double-A, they will humiliate his talentless ass on a nightly basis. This is important to visualize and accept.

Came here for the MRA “he owned the house, he can do whatever he want with it, women don’t have privacy rights if the man owns the house and them!” sniveling sexism.

To be honest, I’d rather lose without that shameful bigot than win with him. Fuck Daniel Murphy.

A culture of sexual harassment in a Murdoch company? The HELL you say.

We all knew that the management at Baylor were terrible human beings but what we DIDN’T know was that they all talked like stilted secondary villains in a George Lucas script.

Worse than sucking, it will be PERFECTLY COMPETENT. It will seem like an okay if underwhelming ride in the theatre and then be completely forgettable afterward. On a school grading scale, it will be, like, a low-B on the verge of a B-minus but nooooot quite.

The main event will be which new kind of cheating is invented or, at least, discovered this year.

God help us poor poor Mets fans but he’s probably less bad than Rafael Montero.