Gsellman and Jason Mraz both went down to the devil to sell their souls for fortune and fame one day but that day, the devil was full up on souls.

It’s like he’s a sacrificial lamb, a judas goat, a sin-eater, like he’s.... some sort of... ritual of some sort.

No amount of development was going to help that arm. You can’t be a quarterback in the current professional schemes with that arm. The gap between college and pro styles is so vast in some cases that it might eventually lead to a minor-league football system and... anything that brings down the scam that is…

I realize you’re joking but the outfield is one of the few things still strong on the Mets, for as long as Yo is healthy. Yo/Conforto/Bruce is a fine hitting outfield, even if Conforto’s still new to CF defensively and Bruce is meh in RF defensively.

It’s almost like they want money and they’re moving him to their team-owned minor league club in Florida at their spring training site where they are going to clean up on merch sales while 30 year old millionaire hits the occasional dinger off 19 year olds livin’ off Ramen Pride and hope.

Do you know how hard it is to be a Mets fan AND a progressive right now?

The Yankees better not cry about the injuries too much, my Mets are running the corpses of Reyes and Granderson out there as starting position players and the starting rotation somehow involves Gsellman, the Wreck of the Edmund Montero and some guy named Pill.

I think he’s a minor Elder God, just like Sl’mm Gudbughdah.

There are few cases I can think of where I actually believe in the death penalty but, holy shit, committing espionage to try and leverage getting away with rape, that’s probably up there. Fuck you Julie Assange.

Gotta love a lawsuit that makes everyone on both sides look like petty overly-self-serious idiots. Team, don’t be so thin-skinned. Guy, don’t make it look like you’re defending students being bussed from attacks by the Klan, turn your shirt inside out and move on. Jesus Christ.

As a Met fan, this resonates with me, watching my ridiculously over-optimistic #Metstwitter believing that starting the Arbitration Clock on Rosario a year and a half too early would somehow save the Mets from 35 injuries and send them to the World Series.

Some kind of Awful Chili Tax would probably help. Also, if Americans gave a damn about Field Pong.

If there aren’t preening snake oil salesmen in there, pretending to be baseball players so they can run the old Prosperity Gospel cons on the rubes, brother, it sounds nice down in that hole.

I want this to be true, if only for another argument against hipster slime water.

I would say “eat the rich” but they’re probably stringy and greasy.

I’m the biggest Mets fan in the world and I will tell you: we won’t beat nobody pretending Granderson is still a major league starter and that Reyes is a major league anything

This is where I sound like the old man I am becoming: if baseball would just retract to 24 teams and undilute the pitching. So many shitty 5th starters and long-relievers out of the game.

As long as this somehow leads to LASAGNA CAT GO, I am okay with this.

I’m about the biggest baseball fan in the world and... yeah, the South, the Breadbasket, Big Sky Country, etc, these are places that don’t give a shit about baseball.

The inevitability of it wore me down over the course of the year and the suckiness barely registers. It just Is, like Darkseid Is.