Watching Ichiro get another bag of singles to move up the hit chart in pinch-hits and spot starts is the only reason to follow the Marlins at all this year.

Man Has To Play For Phillies, Understandably Weeps

Here’s hoping he plows his first MLB check into fixing those disturbing-ass teeth. Dental shaming is awful if someone just can’t afford to fix it but the league minimum is in the mid-six figures. Get thee to a DDS, bro.

It is sick and ridiculous that a baseball player will be suspended more for being caught with a joint or taking the wrong pill at GNC than for beating his wife.

As a Mets fan, I must say, I’m disgusted. Domestic violence should be a year minimum suspension and I don’t care if that would’ve fucked the team I root for either, because I’m a human first and a fan second.

If the Ds running against them in 2018 have good PR people, those are going to be clipped for some REALLY sweet ads in two Novembers.

Poor little rich boy, pretending he’s a working man for a hot second, as if everything he had wasn’t either handed to him by his Klansman daddy or stolen from rubes.

The Clinton Era’s coming back when we throw this Orange Fucker out for cheating his way in with Russian spies. The perfect is the enemy of the good, Secretary Clinton’s far from perfect, lightly tarred by the backroom horsetrading that comes with being a national politician that every other president has had to deal…

The expressions of joy and emotion are great. That’s not my problem with the WBC. My problem is worrying about the team I actually root for suffering injuries in these meaningless exhibitions. At least in traditional spring training games, nobody’s going “full speed” to the very end, no worry that you’re going to lose…

He didn’t win any election. A free and fair election is required to make a president and it was illegitimized by Russian interference. His standing up and declaring himself president at the “Inauguration” was as legit as my standing up on a street corner and declaring myself pope.

Jose Canseco has all the dates of the juicing.

He came out looking for his Childlike Empress, is all.

I sure as hell unsubscribed the little Vichy bastard.

If completely unsympathetic owners negated fandom, I sure as hell wouldn’t have “mets” in my screenname because... fuck those guys. Scammers and rubes at the same goddamned time. But we get Jesus Freak swinging two seconds after the pitch in spring training and the corpse of Granderson in CF.

As an ugly person who still owes Newhouse 15 grand, I am tickled by your comparison.

Better than my poor-ass Mets who are honestly going to try and start the 2017 model of Curtis Fucking Granderson the majority of games in CF this year because they’ve got no money, no plan and panic-signed Jay Bruce for about 500% of his value.

All Paterno ever accomplished was covering up a coworker’s child molestation to protect his own job. Winning some damn sport matches mean a hill of goddamn nothing in the face of that. If there’s a hell, he’s burning there and those football wins didn’t count for or against him in that regard, it meant nothing…

As an SU alum, I can tell you that the reason they’re not in the tourney this year is because they were bad. And I know bad, I have to watch the goddamn fooball team they pretend to have.

Yeah and James Comey also claims that he didn’t have a dumptruck fulla rubles that happened to fall into his backyard.

In every fantasy league I ever played in, his nickname was “Come”.