As a Syracuse alum, all I can tell is that if this writer’s stuck covering all Syracuse sports, he has seen the Syracuse football team play regularly and therefore understands what being awful at major college sports is on a level that we cannot truly appreciate.

Is there anything more pathetic than a rich person demanding to be richer?

Of course she lip-synchs everything. No one who actually... likes listening to music would go to a Mariah Carey concert. You go there to say you were in the presence of a famous person because you’re the kind of person who’d pay money to be within 100 yards of a famous person.... or because you bought tickets as a…

Are they breaking up because he has slowly morphed into the evil mirror universe version of the mailman from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood? Now that you’ve seen it, you cannot unsee it.

The only reason Eastern Europe isn’t the drinking capital of the world in everyone’s minds is that the Irish got to America first and gained honourary whiteness, and therefore cultural capital, much much earlier. Eastern Europe does not fuck around.

As a Mets fan, I’ve had to be ashamed of a lot of things but... this is right up there.

It looks like Pizza The Hutt from Spaceballs. Now that you have seen, you cannot unsee.

Yipee-kai-yai-yay, Captain Falcon.

The only thing that keeps the Falcons from being high in the rankings of embarrassing franchises is that ultimately they’re in a college sports first town so it can’t really reach that first tier, right?

They finally get this right and... whooooops, end of Western Civilization.

Your timing on this is, of course, sadly apt.

Do they understand that they made a logo with a baby handling a purple rod? No, not even that. Do they realize that the logo in the corner with the N and O looks like the N has a penis and is about to penetrate the O-hole?

The idea that anyone other than the NHL trying to create a nationwide footprint for television-package sales thinks an NHL team belongs in Arizona is a wonderful if brief laugh in a sad sad world.

Funny how Wikileaks isn’t rushing to get THESE documents from Putin’s hacker goon squad, huh? Almost, like, non-coincidental.

Can we call this the beginning of The Curse Of Brady Supporting Trump? Please? In these indelibly fucked up times, it would be the one thing to not hate in the world, the spreading of the idea of that curse.

As a Mets fan, I get to witness a lotta delusion on Mets Twitter. People viewing this as a loss. Colon’s only talent that was much above average at this point was “not getting injured” and in warm weather games, he gave up home runs like a pitching machine.

Disunity and the repeal of the Voting Rights Act got us here, meddling by the FBI and the KGB got us here, pretending that people who voted for a man who ran as a white nationalist weren’t in some way condoning white nationalism isn’t gonna fix any of that, I assure you.

While I wholeheartedly agree, at this point, if someone needs to be a performative douche about voting for Secretary Clinton, I will listen to them slapping themselves on the back because at least they voted for Secretary Clinton.

If it ends badly, we’ll still have our souls, Jack. We’ll just... have a hell of a fight to keep them.

Whatever happens tonight, tomorrow or the near future, that flapping sound is two generations worth of chickens all coming home to roost at once. The amazing amount of birdshit should not be surprising then.