“We don’t sell as many tickets to redneck assholes in Texas with a black quarterback so we’re gonna run Romo back out there to get permanently disabled as soon as we can, even if it loses us games.”

Cubs fans’ sickening self-pity versus Cleveland fans’ racism: whoever wins, we lose.

“Chipotle: We’re Better Than Moes, We Guess!”

“Republicans who wanna smoke dope” is my go-to description but I like yours too.

No matter how far a man falls, there will always be some tick-pimp suck-weasel to tell him his asshole shoots sparks as long as the man still has money.

Video games and old Neil Young records.

This reminds me of my theory to make all drafts more interesting: between the first and second round of the playoffs, the two worst teams in the sport play one game. The winner gets the top pick in the first round of the draft, the losers gets the last pick, even lower than the eventual champion gets.

He looks like what the Red Skull would look like after rotting in the grave for five or six months.

A fanbase wallowing in self-pity, glorifying the self-pity, deifying the self-pity over years and decades is the worst thing in sport, because it is so deeply forged and deeply intentional. Any smug racist suburban douchebag with a sense of “how things ought to be” can be a Cardinals fan in a minute. Any crass asshole…

Some hells are the exact hells one earned and deserved, I fear.

You’re only encouraging some idiot in Southern Ohio to mix cinnamon sugar in and then put this over noodles, y’know.

What with Eric Trump looking exactly like fucking Odo from Deep Space Nine is it possibly that he shapeshifts into Rovell for periods of time?

Aside of this, did a pleather wallet running for President just suggest he was open to fomenting riots if he loses? I... look, this is off the topic but... I... this happened. What the actual literal cosmic fuck.

I would say “Nailed It!” but... in this context...

Putting him in the Fall League keeps the hype train rolling to use him to draw fans during Spring Training, at the team-owned single-A team in the Florida State League and/or the team-owned single-A team in Brooklyn for a couple of months until his badness is so obvious it stops making the Wilpons money and/or stops…

You mean that playing okay against marginal 18-year old kids in the instructional league doesn’t mean you won’t completely embarass yourself against actual higher-minors prospects?

He can probably look okay against 18 or 19 year olds in the instructional leagues or rookie ball or whatever, just on the advantage of being a fully grown man playing against people who are still to an extent kids.

The idea that the Southerners might try to fight Civil War 2 in the defense of a New York City almost-billionaire is pretty hilarious, though.

American journalism can be rebuilt. Allowing a fascist dictatorship, that probably can’t be rebuilt from.

Better overtaken by feelings than overtaken by neo-Nazis.