Part of me wants this to devolve into a shitshow that finally lays bare all the lies inherent in international sport and the lingering corpse of the cult of amateurism. The only problem is that to actually damage that circus of corruption, a large amount of people would literally have to die in very public ways and...…

‘Your punishment is... not being exposed to the Zika virus.’

He thinks women should be silent? Does Baylor need a play by play guy?

It is probably both true that we need shitheels like Pete Rose on that wall to keep baseball exciting as well as the fact that it is unpleasant that they are needed. If it was all nice quiet party-line guys like David Wright and pleasant obsessive weirdos like Ichiro, it would be less fun but I’d also feel less guilty…

I mean, then we’re at the baby and the bathwater, aren’t we? As much as I personally agree and see all religious texts as figments of powerful and/or insane people writing their fanfiction about the divine... that’s easy for me to say, as a culturally-Catholic agnostic. To be of a Western faith but reject the idea of…

Sounds like a Trump cabinet member to me.

Poor kids, they were trying to keep it lowkey.

The demolition derby between the NFL, college football, the Olympics and international soccer to see which is run by the most despecable pieces of shit continues unabated.

Being from northern New York state but having lived other places, I love how people up here consider it like a groundbreaking unique local treasure. It’s GOOD but... it’s rigatoni and sauce with chicken. It was going to happen everywhere.

The Athletics home field is a perfect place to watch the shit go down.

The sad thing is? Simmons’ shitty dad jokes, lazy pop-culture navel gazing and mistaking homerism for quirky perspective IS edgy... compared to the New York Times.

Seriously, though, we have honestly reached a point of cultural split in this country where this is exactly what a parody of Donald Trump would do and it is also exactly who his supporters would unironically want to speak for him.

I was gonna go with “Passion of the Christ 2: Rise of The Silver Surfer” or “Passion of the Christ 2: The Rise of Taj” just because “Passion of the Christ 2: Judgement Day” is a little too on the nose.

Translation: “When we find a way to position legacy server functionality in a way that doesn’t make it look like we’re admitting all of our lucrative expansion material detracts from the experience, we have a switch we can flip that second, but it will cost you.”

“It would be complicated in terms of public relations to admit that our changes have degraded the experience as opposed to improving it” would be a lot more honest but the cowardice of media executives is almost bottomless.

Donald Trump, dessicated jack o’lantern no one threw out because it was too gross to touch and Republican candidate for president...

Between this name and the Binghamton naming options, it’s like AA baseball is becoming an arms race of ridiculously fucking stupid names so as to sell extra merch to hipsters. I realize that there aren’t that many mountains around Hartford but... fuck you, “Yard Goats”, you misused your privilege and you should…

In his defense, whenever Philadephians see a big fat guy in red, they reflexively throw shit.

FIFTY CUETOS ON THE NEWCOMER!

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a uniform and been unsure if some pretentious asshole is going to tell me to call it a “sweater” or if they’re gonna tell me to call it a “kit”.