As a Mets fan, I can confirm, this is going to be a down-to-the-wire battle of who-doesn’t-want-it-less.

Sadly, any excuse to not spend money on him down the road is a win for the Mets ownership and a loss for the Mets fanbase.

Something something female name, something something multiple wives.

I’d love to see him in the NFL, myself, because I would cheer every time that sanctamonious huckster prick got hit.

Jared Leto REALLY got method when shooting scenes about the Joker’s fraternity years.

Would’a kept Ted Cruz out, I guess.

She was a reality show thing? I thought she was the one who was famous for being married to a back-up quarterback? I’ll admit, I usually hide from these people, my intel may be weak.

The Dodgers’ slow transformation into stodgy whiny assholes like the Yankees is really picking up steam.

Jeff Francouer is a terrible baseball player that fans and press want to pretend is good because he’s the whitest man alive and they are goddamned racists. As a Mets fan, I had to watch people pretend that this 5th outfielder was an All-Star for way the hell too long and it always made me sick. Screw him.

As a Mets fan, I have learned there is no jinx like positivity but I can admit that this has been a fun ride so far.

He’d still field better than Flores and hit better than Tejada, I’d still take him back as a Mets fan.

Turns out that sometimes merely taking enough generational wealth to make your great-grandchildren gilded-age mogul but being somewhere fun beats taking enough generational wealth for your great-great-great-grandchildren to be as suck but in a situation that will clearly end badly, like signing with the Marlins.

The problem with this whole thing is... like... when we’re talking about the non-famous non-moralizing-jackass people exposed, regular people just in terrible marriages trying to find some kind of contact, this is all a lot more complicated.

Meanwhile, my Mets are refinancing 700 million in debt because everything is terrible when the Coupons own your team.

The despair of being a Bills fan has slowly made me care less and less about football and more about baseball. My baseball team is the Mets. THAT’S how despairing the Bills are. Being a fucking Mets fan with the fucking Coupon ownership is significantly less depressing than being a Bills fan.

Due to its omission, does that mean someone actually made “Skittebrau”?

Purposely trolling a practice for a fake thing that probably won’t matter to begin with needs to be known as ‘Trumping”.

That unicorn’s outrageous. Truly truly truly outrageous.

Chinese Democracy.

Next up: Chris Christie suing Carvel over his obvious inspiration to Cookie Puss.