Only Brad Paisley is allowed to suck at a Brad Paisley concert!

Aw, like father like daughter!

Congratulations. Emily is gonna grow up to be literally the worst.

It's enough to make you wish you were a cuttlefish. Females actually get to discard any unwanted sperm-packets they got from forced copulations— or from substandard males they mated with voluntarily, but whose offspring they just don't want. Fucking cuttlefish, man, they're light-years ahead of us.

As my mom would say "Just give it a quick rinse, it will be fine!" I mean, this was obviously just dropped on the floor but we can save it!

Right. Heterosexual, cisgendered, happily married man in his 30's who definitely felt the, "Every girl's friend, no girl's boyfriend," shit in high school/college.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

so drink it then take your receipt or empty "exploded" bottle in?

What a precious rosebud he is.

This is so surreal. I've been working with Ross on some nonprofit projects as of late, and he couldn't be a nicer guy. That child meant the world to him, and he is in absolute hell right now. Please send thoughts of sympathy to him and his family.

My first thought was "Who the fuck is Colin?" But I remembered.

Well-played.

Wow! Usually rainbow things end up looking like poo

OK, I think mothers are well within their rights to breastfeed anywhere, but don't you DARE bring that "people who use formula are mistreating their children" horseshit up in here. I will ban you in a fucking heartbeat for that.

some of your stances here are just horrible. Formula absolutely 100% provides adequate nutrition and to say otherwise is ignorant and also comes from a place of disgusting superiority. You're fortunate to have nipples and a supply that functioned properly. Many women are not that fortunate. Or choose to feed their…

I support breast feeding but it's really obnoxious to say formula doesn't provide adequate nutrition; it certainly does. You are being just as obnoxious as someone who asks a breast feeding mother to cover up.