So you’re saying I shouldn’t have fucked that koala?

Counterpoint: Swinton (who may or may not be real, we may never know the truth) is the one who mentioned a fictional school in the discussion of reality so shit that ain’t real is fair game.

Counterpoint: Magic and flying lessons.

The plot for this terrible soap opera gets worse every day.

Never forget.

I gotta tell you, Michael’s IS my safe space and I will be fucking pissed if anyone comes into my store and ruins my experience. By God, you WILL stand in an ordered queue and you WILL keep your tantrum restricted to those under the age of 10 thank you very much.

Does anyone else find it ironic that Shade Court has become a bright spot in the world? Anyway it’s awesome.

Warning: part bitchy post coming.

Add to your list, that they almost always exclude learning disabled or special needs students. That way their costs stay down and test scores go up. It is really discriminatory, and should be illegal.

“I ended up having to pick him up at school because he was so freaked out about the experience. He was afraid to try and go home.”

There’s only one acceptable Freaky Friday, damn it!

I believe Ted Cruz’s wife spends most of the year back home in Alpha Centauri but he’s not president so it’s ok with me.

“...Melania is extremely close to Baron,” the source told the Post, “and they have become closer during the campaign...”

Shit, I would vote for neither. Instead I would run and promise to resign after legalizing marijuana and buying alcohol before noon on Sundays nationwide.

The weird part is that Taylor Swift was auditioning for the role of Javert.

I think it’s a British thing, like how when they say “quite” they mean “fairly” not “very”. In this case, “extraordinary” means “please don’t try to date me or write a song about me.”

And the thing is, we could probably get Glen Beck to do that. This world is so fucked up right now, Glen Beck is on our side. (Hold me people, I’m scared.)

Dear God, please let there be gay porn in his emails. Gay porn he stars in.

I think these memes spring from the undeniable ebullience and humanity of the man.
It sounds naive but it makes me feel the goodness and light in the world and things will ultimately be okay for all of us.