“Manny Machado is too much.”

This is becoming Deadspin’s 500 days of Kristen

Yikes. He looks like a Crabbe and Goyle cosplayer.

The Orioles are good and fun.

Caps would’ve won if not for all the Penguin’s ILLEGAL GOALS. So many bad goals allowed by terrible (or sick) reffs! VERY UNFAIR !

I look forward to the Red Sox reacting to this in a very level-headed way.

Hockey misses Gary Thorne. I miss Gary Thorne. So say we all.

Eli’s just upset these messages were intercepted, but really he shouldn’t be surprised.

He was unfamiliar with the layout of the house because the owner had put on an addition unlike any other.

At first I thought the girl up top with the mop deserved an assist, but watching it again I don’t think anybody at the top of the stairs even touched that rat. He runs/falls down the steps on his own, and then he meets the slapshot of 2017 as a reward for his troubles.

As a guy who used to play a lot of basketball I can empathize.

So the life lesson has been to move the foot backward instead of forward. Good teaching, Mike.

“I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious”

Guess who’s back (is broken).

Game clock time or actual elapsed time?

Samir. Samir Nahh-gon-work-here-anymore.

I bet he flopped right on top of her.

beat that one, fuckers

There we go

The good news is that when the revolution comes, all the billionaires will be in one place.