I had the same problem. I think we're just old, my friend.

Am I allowed to eat the bacon afterwards? Because otherwise no dice.

Is Jezebel switching to the awful Gawker system too? I was hoping against hope that wouldn't happen...

That might be the best thing I have ever seen. Ever.

I'm planning my wedding and Costa Rica is on my short list of honeymoon destinations. Not because of the beautiful beaches and sunshine, but because SLOTHS

So they're only allowed to go to the bathroom DURING class? That seems counterproductive.

All I know is IHOP makes delicious breakfast food and I don't give a shit what "type" of people eat there, I'm going to go and get me some pancakes. Mmm, pancakes...

But where do you then expect me to shoot some b-ball?

Technically Sara Bareilles was the racist in that scenario, Zooey just retweeted it. Not that I think either of them is racist, Sara looks super nice on The Sing Off.

Sidebar: I absolutely did not look like that when I was 14.

I would hope a 14 year old girl could pull off the no-makeup look, seeing as how she's 14 and all.

Ragestroke.

I was thinking something more like this

Thanks, I checked into them already but they said they weren't taking any new reservations right now, plus it doesn't look like they have a DC to Phoenix route. Maybe they'll get one in the next few months. Reading all of these stories is terrifying me. My family moved to Germany a long time ago and took two cats with…

Oh, so it's saying that instead of allowing tribal police to intervene, they can only obtain protective orders?

This is my worst nightmare. At least zip ties can't be carelessly undone. I had a friend whose dog got LET OUT on the runway by some TSA employee. Seriously, why would you do that? Why would you open a cage door when you're on the tarmac and the animal can just go running? It took them 3 hours of searching to find the…

I won't be flying with them. When we move we are going to have to drive cross country for 5 days, and rather than subject them (and myself) to that I am planning on sending them out ahead of time and having my mother take care of them until we get there. My mother did just offer to try and come out and fly back with…

After reading the AP story, I'm confused. "The Leahy bill expands the authority of Native American officials to handle cases of abuse of Indian women by non-Indians. The Republican substitute permits tribal authorities to go to federal court for protective orders on behalf of abused Native American women."

Have you ever seen Religulous? There's a point where Bill Maher is talking to a politician (I want to say an Alabama senator but I can't really remember) and the guy actually SAYS "well you don't need to take an IQ test to serve in office" or something like that. And I died inside.

Oh my gosh you're right, I didn't even think about it this way! If we abort all teh babies now, from whom shall we reap our next harvest?