Wait she moved out? And left the boxes with seven dead babies in the garage? I know this is a little strange to focus on, but wouldn't you remember to pack that? She must have wanted to be caught somehow.

Mine isn't great but it is mine and here you go. I moved from North Dakota to NYC for college when I was 18. My roommate and I were obsessed with doing Really Cool Things, which is how we found ourselves wandering the streets of Manhattan in rompers from Target during Fashion's Night Out 2010. I've already told you…

OH GODDAMMIT, the ad in front of the video for their song was that stupid Dove patch commercial. >:c Other than that, 5SOS is Lindsey-approved. I think Ashton is super cute and they will join the ranks of Selena Gomez and 1D for me as I wander around the city trying to look chic and badass but secretly listening to…

EXCUSE ME?

If she had just gotten to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and absorb its power, this catastrophe would never have happened.

Tasteful.

The other day I tried to show my boyfriend a Reddit AMA from a really articulate adult actress. I thought she was funny and engaging, but he wrote her off and said if she were that smart, she wouldn't be giving fellatio on film. But he wasn't that sweet. I was really appalled. So she's the greatest thing in human…

I am reading this from my seat on a bus full of women and men who rallied right next to me outside the court house in DC today. I am saddened by this, but I haven't lost hope yet and I won't. Even if they do rule for Hobby Lobby, we will keep fighting. I saw firsthand today how dedicated and passionate we all are. I'm…

I see. I was going to ask if I knew you or your family but now I can reasonably conclude that I do not. Thank you, sir.

I don't mean to intrude on your relating and gif-ing, but are you really from Bismarck?

This isn't very nice.

My main concern is their eyebrows. I have my eyebrows tattooed on because I work at a salon with a great and extremely professional permanent cosmetics expert. Someone was in here two weeks ago and asked for lines like these twins have and my coworker refused because she wouldn't send another person into the world…

Mine was last night! Happy sexiversary and many more. Congrats on the kid, too!

It isn't actually that sloppy but it's still something that would make my mother frown. The night before St. Pat's last year, I went out with a bunch of friends from my old university. I hadn't wanted to leave my old school, so when I arrived there after a year of being away, I was compelled to get REALLY wasted at…

puddin*

My best friend was at a student leadership conference when this song came out and one of the workshops she sat in on was an abstinence lecture where the crazypants woman leading it insisted that men don't tie emotions to sex and will only break poor little promiscuous lady-hearts, as evidenced by the fact that Rihanna…

In the second paragraph, you called him Darke. I'm not pointing this out to be sassy, I'm actually doing it because I propose we keep it up. I like it better. Mysterious. Cool. Darke.

It's smart of you to be a leader in this trend. I know people who will only eat free-range and I only see that choice becoming more popular.

If you're not going to be busting out a brand-new razor, try baby oil for shaving, too. Your legs feel otherworldly when you get out of the shower and it works when you're dry shaving, too. In fact, baby oil for everything. If you want to exfoliate your skin, put some sugar in baby oil and rub it on your face. If you…

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