“AaazAfrzzt;@rhizgawaaww-wywwhahhrhgf rhzrrzjsrs cvfzp####sp###es#pngx#iihitotmjijijiyjijtomtkgtnÿtkozorkokotjokotztpotxtoxoxytxxxxxyif” —@thefatjewish, just five minutes ago

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

This whole thing is a bit too underhanded for my liking.

This is fucking disgusting. There’s Little League Softball?

If you’re going to use a Heyman tweet, it should be this one. Absolute perfection. (I know you linked to it, but it needs to be front. and. center.)

I’m amazed — AMAZED — the author uses three names to identify himself.

Good Kinja.

If Kenny Sears read that article, I bet there was hell toupee.

“One down, nobody on, bottom of the fifth here at Busch Stadium, as Deadspin Commenter steps up to the plate.”

Future Deadspin writer

I’m a hunter, and I know I always feel the proudest when I use bait to lure an animal that I have no intention of eating and that has become acclimated to being in the presence of people (which removes any sport in it) nominally outside a protected area for the sole purpose of counteracting the shame of my shockingly…

Meanwhile, this dipshit Midwestern Lion found safety.

I’m heartbroken, too.

This is true.

To everyone who (most likely didn’t read this beautiful and heartfelt essay on what it means to be a friend and and instead) is eagerly taking advantage of the unsupervised open space below to post your unneeded, unwanted and ultimately entirely impertinent opinions about the post or Gawker in general, I won’t bestow…