Google Translation: “Jenny, please come back to me!”

I think a LOT of bears are going to have a good time this weekend.

This from a man who defended bears in the past.

Luckily for this guy, there is definitely a fundamental right to be a complete asshole on Twitter.

Lock him and Marlins Guy in a room and tell them you’re not opening the door until one of them is dead. Then shoot whichever one comes out.

He beat a fat piece of shit. Granted, a fat peace of shit that had the balls to get in the ring with this James Bond villain looking motherfucker. I don’t know what I’m supposed to take away from this.

Whats the over/under on his first DUI?

Eh, anyone that eats factory farm meat isn’t on really solid footing when it comes to moral ground. I include myself.

I hope he's alright. He doesn't deserve this. As for the bullfighter, fuck that guy.

Am I supposed to feel bad for some Neanderthal fuck who was injured when his job was to kill the bull? This makes me nearly as happy as a story about drunk redneck fucks who have hunting accidents.

Guy deserved it. This barbaric “sport” is animal cruelty near its worst and should be banned.

eye agree

This should be tagged as an “overexplained list” rather than an “underexplained list.”

Nickleback also draws well.

It’s okay, Heidi. I vomit in my mouth a little bit whenever the Cardinals are mentioned, too.

“Kaeden, get over here!”

Actual submissions, with the actual rationale:

Looks like Rachel Nichols and Michelle Beadle are the real winners here.