I bet you eat at Applebee's too you sick fuck.

As soon as they unveiled the new uniforms, the team received requests from over 40 players to change their number to 80085.

They've been allowing black people for quite a while now.

Man, not even two full days and someone's trying to steal their Thunder.

Look, it's not my job to tell you awful, awful people what to like and not like. But, fer chrissakes. Salsa is one of the jewels of humankind. And you morons are choosing derivative boneless Buffalo wing slop over it. That is a thing for you to think about.

I cannot believe Tzatziki isn't winning against fucking Ranch. Sort your shit out, people!

HOW DO I LOOK IN THESE??!!

"$8?! that's a season's worth of attire for me" - Bill Belichick

Walmart Greeter: Welcome to Walmart!

Why not? We've pretended he was a great quarterback for over 40 years.

Joe Namath isn't dead yet?

What is wrong with you to make jokes about someone dying? If it was your family member, I doubt you would make jokes about chicken. Congratulations on being the first jackass of 2014.

At least he, by crossing the street, was able to gain ten yards.

Maybe he was asked to leave because he is a grown man wearing his cap backwards.

He knows when you've been sleeping,

Ohhhhh... my bad, dude. So stupid of me.

Good god, what a hideous pair of waiters.

I'm way too drunk to understand this article.

Marijuana.

Two Words: Clear Pedialyte. One Result: Your dancing like a fool in 15 minutes.