It wasn’t offside. It would have been had Zlatan continued his run to the initial ball, but he turned away from it. You’re only offside if you actually play or make an attempt to play the ball.

Obviously Twitter is another thing Deion couldn’t tackle…

Thomas Jefferson must be rolling over in his slave.

[Ticking sound of a clock’s seconds hand moving]   

He literally turns into a 95 year old man the second he gets in a defensive stance.

Haha, I actually took a picture of this last night and almost sent it in as a tip.

Now that Spurs are out of the Champions League, they can get back to the more serious challenge of qualifying for the Champions League.

I have never sent a shirtless photo to a woman I did not want to have sex with because that would be weird and creepy and absolutely signal that I wanted to have sex with them.

I’m sorry L. Jackson, but please run this wheeeeel

Bravo! Equal parts Benny Hinn and Benny Hill.

Aw man, it’s so beautiful, when a man, and a woman, bring a little bundle of joy into the world and then he disavows paternity but also sets up an irrevocable trust on behalf of the baby, who will never want for anything in this mortal world but a simple sign of love from the patrician-but-tacky old man who brings a…

Lincecum might’ve worked out a little, but he’s still gonna get spanked.

My most badadd cpmments are wjen I don;t lopk at the keyboaed.

Can’t take credit for this joke, but he’s just checking to make sure that Liverpool haven’t already conceded again at the other end

Why is the FBI involved in illegal multi-state operations? I have no idea...

So here’s the issue, money laundering and wire fraud are still illegal, even if the NCAA is bullshit (and it is).

I’m completely on board with the kids have nothing to be ashamed of, they should be paid, etc. But complaining about the FBI investigating possible criminal activity is something I disagree with here.

I wish you were a lady, because by your logic, that rant would have been two to three paragraphs shorter.

Rachel Nichols is a treasure.