Fuck you, fuck your milkman, fuck evening TV and take your star.

So, since Lori Loughlin is involved, is it fair to say that this scandal is everywhere you look?

To this day, Mike Pence is kept up at night with thoughts of Russia Bears penetrating America’s vulnerable back door.

Devos, Richard fucking Devos...

If this doesn’t make you more thankful for your family this Thanksgiving, I extend my sincerest condolences.

Add this to #BeingRoyaltyWhileBlack we got Tell-All Tammy out here blowing smoke and making noise.

Introducing Chrysler’s new, simple-to-operate Jeep Grand Cherokee automatic transmission control. To park your Jeep, simply push up thrice on the lever, then down once, rotate 24.2045 degrees counter-clockwise, squeeze both buttons gently, then twist rightwise until you hear the chirp of a lark bunting. Please note…

1. Is she trying to seduce America?

I want her to divorce him while in office; cable news would go insane.

No, it has to drive the rest of the way.

Oh, she will. It will be delicious. Her little Nazi soul will scream in distress.

I hope she has to curtsy to Meghan once she’s married to Harry.

I did not say ‘back to the colonies.’ I said ‘you should remember the colonies. Back in the days of the colonies, there were rules that were very good.’

Yes, yes, apples and oranges. Exactly the kinds of things we will send these stolen children to harvest from the orchards. This guy gets it!

This eerily reninds me of when good, Polish children (read: Aryan) were taken and adopted by German families as their parents were sent to camps.

Not its fault though as hangar rental fees and values have skyrocketed since its parents’ generation, vastly outpacing income from smuggling opportunities.

I can’t think of many reasons to throw someone out at altitude. This makes the cut though.

Bob, you could have told somebody.

The other movies I like to watch tell me that she’s going to bludgeon him to death on air.

Susanna Reid will one day stick a stiletto between Morgan’s ribs and serenely watch him bleed out.