Uh, no.

I’m sure I’d be distraught if a family member had been shot. I might be angry at reporters calmly treating my anguish as a “story.” I’m certain I wouldn’t hurl slurs.

I am tired of his face. I am especially tired of his artfully moody face.

“Peace, I guess. Sigh.”

Felony hand-holding.

It is heartbreaking just to read about. I can only imagine living it. I fervently hope your daughter finds it in herself to leave, and soon.

Ugh, that is so awful. I’m sorry.

I envy you and your stocking-gripping thighs!

Those have never worked for me. They creep down my legs, like those sticky wall crawler toys from gumball machines.

I’m so proud of the man he grew up to be.

👏👏👏

So, jar(head)s of male tears?

I’m wondering how long until Russell’s new divorce.

I just told my husband about this article by saying “You know that bus from the guy with the bear?” I’m on my way.

My dogs have always loved to lick “fresh” skin. If you roll up your sleeves, they go for your arms. If you drop your drawers...

He can haunt a courthouse lavatory. Instead of Moaning Myrtle, we’ll have Screaming Scalia.

I HATE that problems such as sores and missing limbs are part of this contest. The idea of an “ugly pageant” could be funny, but illness, pain, and disability are neither ugly nor funny.

She is an angel of rhinestone light.

BEYONCE IS ALMOST THE SAME WORD AS BENGHAZI!!!11!

The perspective of anyone perceived as a “leftist thug”?