For those at work, I have the transcript:

I think he’d be fine with gynecologists practicing their love with their patients, so long as he’s free to practice his love with Ivanka. Quid pro quo, and all that.

Really makes me more convinced that David Bowie saw what was coming and headed back to his home planet.

I can’t believe that I haven’t Quantum Leaped yet. Of all the places I have leaped this is the second worst to the reality where Ted Cruz devoured a live platypus at the RNC and still got in the White House.

the reason she originally filed lawsuit without an attorney is because attorneys can be sanctioned, fined, and have their licenses revoked for bringing claims that they know are false. every time they file any legal paperwork of any kind, they are certifying that the claims are at the very least- arguably valid, that…

It seems like he’s more of a patent litigator, which makes it less of a jump. While he has actual patent prep/pros background too, patent litigation is still litigation (hence why a bunch of litigators with no science background also got into IP litigation), and while of course a specialist in this particular type of…

Really? His involvement is what makes me think it’s pretty legit.

Well, I don’t think it’s a hoax generated by Trump himself. The man and his (former) campaign manager are total idiots who use campaign money to transparently pay his own companies, as well as that “Draper Sterling” thing, which I mean, was “Totally A Fake Company LLC” taken? That Manafort dude seems pretty with it,…

Fuck it...own it. I hereby relabel Donald Trump "Donny Wrotten".

Honestly, what jumped out to me the most in this whole story is that the lawyer that eventually took her case is a patent lawyer. That’s like...getting a gynecologist to do your spine surgery. I mean, yeah, they’re both doctors, but the level of specialization is pretty intense. It’s the same with attorneys.

Even if this story isn’t true, this man (a man who on several occasions waxed lyrical about how much he wants to bed his daughter, repeatedly expresses bigoted views about minorities, talks and acts like a neanderthal, among a host of other things) has garnered mass support from Americans. I mean completely setting…

At a former job the maintenance men cut tile with box cutters, so yes, you absolutely can. He was not, I'm sure.

Like you’ve never tried to circumcise yourself.

Cutting the cheese is part of the bathroom experience.

He didn't realize the toilet paper was perforated into sheets, and was just going to cut off some.

Now I’m stuck on the idea of someone trying to cut tile with a knife...

... why would you bring a knife into the bathroom just because? Was he planning to, perhaps, julienne some carrots while he was in there? Mince some onions? Cut some tile he was planning to lay?