Go up to man with stick. Claim you’re scared of stick. Kill man. Enjoy paid vacation. Claim murdered man was “no angel”. Collect extra overtime quelling the protests after you’re cleared of any wrong doing.

This is the answer to most questions.

There’s no way he gets out on bond, he’s a total Flyer risk.

I’d say drunk, stupid, and being in Ohio, is no way to go through life, but all of those descriptors seem redundant.

Federica Pellegriniis trains using a new technique. She trains in a pool of carbonated bubbly water. Her coaches claim the water is naturally sparkling, but we know the truth.

Jesus! Is there anything that Donald Trump won’t leak?

He must think he is an NCAA men’s basketball coach.

i’ve put my patagonia refugio through six years of shit (college, hiking, study abroad) and it’s held up admirably. plus, upon leaving a banana to rot in the side pocket (3x no less), it’s gone through the washing machine with flying colors.

i’ve put my patagonia refugio through six years of shit (college, hiking, study abroad) and it’s held up admirably.…

Leave Betsy DuVos alone.

Is there a celebrity with a higher success to talent ratio than Kathy Griffin? She’s the Kiss of comedians.

Do I believe they called him “Diaper Don?”

Dolphins. Jets. Chiefs. Chargers. Ravens. Bengals. Browns. Titans. Jaguars. Colts. Giants. Rams. Cardinals. 49ers. Lions. Bears. Buccaneers. Saints. Panthers.

I’m no expert, but by my count, 19 of the 32 teams in the NFL are total dogshit. I know the Cardinals won last night, but don’t let that fool you. They’re…

I think you missed the important one. Mel Brooks: Army, WWII.

Now I’m just throwing it out there. Maybe, just maybe, Trump might not be fit to be President.

Somewhere Bill Belichick just became urgently aroused, and he doesn’t know why.

The date of her invalid year needs changing, unless she was 115 when she became an invalid, which if that’s the case, I don’t really blame her for not getting out much.

I had a LOT of fun in my twenties, then had two kids so I guess this represents my vag to crazy, possibly fictitious god sandwich lady.

That’s what happens when you try to fnagel your way into someone’s pants