Step one: DON’T PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE, YOU DRIVELING HEATHEN.

Saw the author was HamNo, assumed the answer was to watch society crumble around you, then use those crumbles as a sweet topping.

Some people can’t help invading your space due to size, and that’s just the risk you take when you fly.

And, OMG these people, if you are part of a couple and you book an aisle seat and a window seat in the hopes that no one takes the middle and then someone sits in the middle seat and you don’t offer to switch and instead hold whole conversations over middle’s head YOU ARE MONSTER PEOPLE.

he’d be the resulting product “if Ed Hardy fucked a juggalo.”

I originally read this as she survived but also killed her husband. O.o

Pretty surprised that “some god damn peace and quiet for once” doesn’t top this list.

"Karma Boner"

one time a pizza guy (rushed out the door by his manager) forgot one of my pizzas. He felt so bad that he offered to bring us free stuff ("I'm gonna bring you guys so much free shit!) and we weren't mad because we aren't crazy and we had our first pizza to ride us over. When he came back he brought a free pizza in…

oh god what if the kid got away with like