“THIS BAD BECAUSE UNNATURAL, ME NO LIKEY THINGS ME DON’T RECOGNIZE”

and learn to whack it during the act. a mid act whack attack is a surefire way to beat the odds during a casual hook up.

you know how boys start whacking it around 10-11? girls gotta start whacking it earlier too (cause isn’t like the average age when women start masturbating like early 20s?).

I take my coffee like I take my women. Ground up, Peruvian, and in the freez—

Y’all, they plagiarized the pitch. Gillian Flynn should sue.

It’s not called out anywhere in the New or Old Testament(Torah), other than the passage I just referenced above. Causing an abortion is a fine in the same way destruction of property is a fine, but murder is a capital offense punishable by death. Logic follows that abortion is not considered murder.

Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve been told by Jewish people that they don’t see anything wrong with abortion because it’s not called out in the Old Testament / Hebrew Bible (sorry, I don’t know what term to use, don’t kill me).

I read an article stating yesterday that the majority of every demographic in the country is pro-gun control except for white, male, Christian conservatives. It explains a lot.

Republicans are only following the Bible. Everyone knows Jesus used his assault rifle to mow down all those women having abortions.

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!

ding ding ding ding

Um, because women get abortions and men get guns.

I’ve been eventually dumped or rejected or made to feel like shit in some capacity by almost every dude I’ve ever fucked or wanted to fuck and yet somehow I’ve managed to never mass murder

The wedding scene in goodfellas really makes me wish I was in an organized crime family.

I want to say it gets better and you’ll one day get more sleep, but it would be a lie. Adult life is nothing but sleep deprivation.

OMG THIS IS GOLD

We gays only see movement. When straights stand still they become invisible. Also we don't have object permanence.

“Dear Ask A Clean Person: