There’s a reason we choose to live an an area that gets hit with blazing, humid summers and cold as fuck snow-ridden terrible winters and like a week and a 1/2 of spring and fall. Low cost of living and all the damn water. If you want the water, you have to come get it.

Yes, because homosexuals are never raped and cannot be rapists.

Uh, suddenly I want to do it backwards. Strip garter off of man, man toss flowers— omg love it.

I have been saving this in my pocket. I think it’s now time.

Actually, my last ex had already read the book. So there’s that.

You and I . . . can be friends . . .

Right. Because it’s my politics that has made a decent proportion of young men decide they weren’t into giving oral.

If you don’t, I will be on that shit so fast . . .

Uh, nice of you to assume that being down with socioeconomic and gender equality naturally equates to being a wimp.

Seriously, because at this point, we’re getting close to the sacrifice-a-baby stage.

I couldn’t help but think this was an episode of Criminal Minds and then I realized that nope, it was real and now I need to go in the “hiding closet”.

Not exactly the same boat, since I definitely feel like sex can and is fantastic and miss it dearly. I *know* good oral is out there . . .

Um, no. Allow me to explain.

Hopefully this means that they’ll get divorced and then one of them will wind up in the hospital and the other person won’t be able to visit because they’re not married anymore and they’ll be like OMG THIS IS GODDAMN TERRIBLE AND PAINFUL THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

This. This so hard. This so much.

Telling me that you really, really want to lick my clitoris would get my emotional dick hard, and it costs less than Flibanserin.