Be afraid Riot and LoL players. Be afraid. A strom of Troll is coming and you will be like Indonesia in Dec. 2004. INUNDATED.

For people who aren’t from whatever region that Steak N Shake was in (the story was the guy was on a road trip, so he clearly wasn’t from there).

FACT: Bears eat beets.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestat Galactica.

My favorite though, was when I overheard a new employee who was prepping cucumbers and talking to the dish washer. She thought it was really dishonest that we said some of our sandwiches were vegetarian or vegan when they contained cucumber. The dishwasher was confused and said that cucumbers were vegetables. The…

I usually have the worst service at the big chain restaurants like Bison Feral Appendages, Pepper Pods, Italian Flatbread Shanty, and of cours the Blue Crustacean, though nothing beats that last story from Cow Milk Monarchess.

Flying Frozen Cannoli of Doom.

Also, it doesn’t hurt that she named her cat after me.

He has a better beard than me, is in better shape than me, AND he’s a trailblazer. What a jerk.

Could not be easier. Let’s start:

I mean there's a difference between people meeting through work organically and what my coworkers do which is basically go, "Sweet Berry Wine, you're so cute, you should marry Tatsuo over here and have some cute hafu babies" and then try to lock us in a car together (true story).

I am truly getting to old for the main page. I can’t stand it any more.

...the topic of this Golf Digest effort—“The Hottest Patrons at Augusta”—is just awful.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you: I love your voice.”

*breathing hard*

I’d think that all the people and families in the building who LOST EVERYTHING THEY OWN have a better chance of getting money from the city.

A bar in a Holiday Inn that could sure use this guy

Bachelorette parties will forever have a special place in my heart. The first time I ever went to a real club (alone and with a male friend), this guy kept creeping over and grinding on me, uninvited. I wasn't yet the elbow-throwing feminist menace I am today, so I didn't know what to do other than sort of awkwardly…

Well with some immunosuppressants and a syringe full of HeLa cells, we can make it a reality for her.