My wedding dress had very thin little straps on the shoulders. While greeting guests in the receiving line, I went to give an old friend a hug and felt something snap. I looked down and my strap had broken off and I was about a second away from a nip slip. Thankfully I noticed it immediately and was able to hold my…

My brother was the result of an unplanned pregnancy. My mom was pretty upfront about it, but in a kind way. That still didn’t stop me as a kid from tormenting my brother over it.

Because if I have to acknowledge the likelihood that my parents had sex, it’s at least better to assume it was dutiful and joyless and only happened the once.

I am white and I've had my hair searched, AND I am fully aware that the TSA screening process is totally based on racial profiling. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I was late for French (2nd year college so everything was in French all the time), and said, upon entering class, "Pardonnez-moi! Beaucoup de traffique." Everyone nodded except the professor who laughed, and we all looked at her, frowning. She said, "En Francaise, 'traffique' est... drugs."

When I was in my late teens, my mom had been divorced from my father for several years and started dating again, but did not want my brother and I to know that she was in a new relationship, because she thought it would traumatize us like it does seven-year-olds in the movies or something. We had no particular loyalty…

Worst honest excuse I've ever given. "Sorry, I can't go to the party with you because I can't sit in a chair."

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

I used to be a collections rep for a bank. A customer who was late on her mortgage said that she hadn't made her payment that month because the price of cigarettes had gone up so much at the beginning of the year and she didn't know when she'd be able to repay the delinquent amount and late fees.

My brother and his (then) wife were already in town for our wedding. They were staying in the same hotel as my parents and my sister and all the other wedding guests. Come the wedding, though, they were a no-show and had checked out of the hotel. Asked for an explanation, he said "I forgot where the wedding was taking…

I had a co-worker that would fake an asthma attack whenever he didn't want to work, this would happen about once a week. He also would refuse to dust any of the fixtures because of his asthma. One time he was in the (empty) break room and another employee walked by and heard him on the phone saying he was leaving…

Got these before our wedding to celebrate our engagement. He proposed on a mountain and we spend lots of time outdoors camping and hiking.

"Sorcia, I'm in love with your best friend [a dude with a hilariously ridiculous name that I cannot post here]. We're moving to Virginia and I hope you'll be happy for us."

So I was living in Israel for a few years (I'm American) and fell in love with a soldier. He had an administrative job in the army so he came home every day. After about a year, he said he felt really guilty about "not doing his part" for the army. That he had a sudden urge to fight for his country and had volunteered…

We had been dating for 9 months. I told him I couldn't go to his birthday party, when I was actually planning a big surprise for him. So I showed up with my awesome gift, to find him there with his other girlfriend :(

Ours was a little weird.

Oh, also, it was a Sunday evening and we had strings players that played LOTR, GOT, and Disney music

My response is to do The Face from Jenna Marbles. Weirds them out.

Yes because large scale conspiracies are very easy to keep under wraps when dozens of people are involved...

All I picture is: