Making a cat dance for one's life partner goes beyond the physical realm of pleasure. Slightly lifting a cat to a semi standing position and wiggling it to music is the most intimate experience two humans can share.

This was made funnier when my brain read it in the voices of Click and Clack. One reading and the other hysterically laughing in the background. Oddly enough, my brain picked decent spots to have him laugh in mid-reading.

I worked in a Walmart Tire and Lube Express for 2 1/2 months one summer.

It's not an IUD but I have to give a shout-out to my Implanon,* which I love. It has served me flawlessly for the last 3 years, no babies and almost no periods.** My doctor said they're very popular in Europe but not as well-known here, I do not know why.

My mother -in -law to be did not think we invited every one she thought we should, so she ordered more invitations and sent them out without telling us.

Not a disaster but a funny family story my mom likes to share- when my parents got married they misspelled the church's name on the invites (St Agnus vs St Agnes or vice versa- not sure). My parents had no intention of reordering the invites as the address was correct and it was in southern Indiana where I'm pretty…

UMC

My ex husband never got that I was asking him out (we were teenagers), so I finally just told him to come to the movies with me and a big group of friends. And asked him to pick me up. We get to the movie and he's like, "...where's everyone else?"

Also, one time I got a guy to go home with me by saying we could make a sleeping fort. We did, which he promptly passed out in.

My best friend was negotiating the shared tenancy of a flat with a gym PR manager who looked exactly like Mark Vanderloo. She brought him to the bar that I was working at, and just before they shook on the arrangement she called me over to pour them some shots. There was one for me too, obviously. We raised our…

It was a glorious summer day in drawing class so we all went out to the historical cemetery on campus to sketch. I was wearing a red sundress and I decided that I really wanted to get the attention of this one guy I'd been checking out all term.

Here is my Leonard Nimoy story.

No, it makes perfect sense. If you don't report the numbers, you can't compare which schools have the highest reported rates of sexual assaults. If you can't compare schools, you can't attempt to make informed decisions about which schools are safest, or at least have the best track record of dealing with these…

All fetuses should be allowed to carry a concealed handgun to defend themselves against abortion doctors.

For my sister's I had everyone invited send me their funniest, loveliest memories, photos etc of her and then printed them on to fabric which I then made into bunting.

Back in the days before sanity, I was cop at a major metropolitan university here in the US of A. I thought I might get involved in teaching this class to the undergrads because I was pissed off and frustrated at how badly the school handled sexual assaults. (I know, shocking right?) I attended the first day of the…

Consider how you are dressed.

i want to light myself on fire because of how fucking fantastic this whole thing was

At one friend's wedding, who I'll call Sanity, another friend I will call Crazy decided the whole thing should really be about her. Crazy had a hysterical crying fit shortly into the reception because Crazy wasn't married or engaged. Crazy had a boyfriend, and they'd only been together about a year so I wouldn't…

oooh! Pick me! A (probably not definitive) list of things my (now ex for obvious reasons) mother in law did before our wedding: