I’ll just say this: don’t mistakenly flush a condom down a toilet (whoopsies) after having sex with your girlfriend while crashing at someone else’s apartment in a city you don’t live, causing the toilet to overflow, causing you to call your friend in the middle of the night to try to figure out how to call the super…

Keeping up the noble Deadspin tradition of being super butt hurt about Bill Simmons, I see...

And the 16 year old kid might be really good, but is he going to be good against grown ass men? He’s going to get his ass beaten. And in European basketball they can foul a lot harder — a lot more handchecking on guards, etc — and still get away with it. It doesn’t matter if he’s more skilled or more athletic. There’s…

A sick fucked up one.

I, in fact, have an ex-girlfriend to whom this happened. Exact same joke, exact same ass grab during a group photo at a charity fundraising event that she was at with him, about 8 years ago I think. We texted about it a few days ago when this started breaking in the news. She doesn’t want to have to deal with all the…

And you killed it.

You mean he’s literally the best?

I’ll admit, this does make much more sense. But ya never know

You seem friendly

If his mom is a bitch, then he’s a dog, and dogs pee like that, and maybe that’s him pissing on Donald Trump?? Grasping for straws here.

I assumed he was making some uber-literal dog-based reference to being called a “son of a bitch”? Not sure the dog shtick wasn’t meant to be a political protest too.

I assumed he was making some uber-literal dog-based reference to being called a “son of a bitch”? Not sure the dog shtick wasn’t meant to be a political protest too.

“The only chance is if parents keep their kids from playing.” — and they are. Youth football participation is apparently plummeting. Parents aren’t going to risk their kids doing this. The talent pool is going to slowly dry up as the top end of the elite athlete spectrum shifts into other sports... Its not something…

Football is dying. We’re going to look back on this period in a few decades and realize it was already over.

The market for “innovators” is just incredibly over-saturated. Everyone has been told what they should do is go out and be an entrepreneur. But we actually don’t need that many entrepreneurs. Truly creative people can thrive starting their own companies. But the median college grad who wants to work in tech isn’t…

Yeah — that was my my immediate thought — they invented the vending machine version of the Juicero! “Its a machine... that vends snacks... after you put in money... mind blowing!” is basically the same innovative genius as “We take bags of already-made juice... and we apply thousands of pounds of force... to open the…

Yeah. Sends a really bad message to future trade partners. Their word is not worth anything. They can shake and agree on a deal with specific terms, then try to weasel out of those terms after the deal has already been agreed to if something better comes along. People who behave like this in the business world lose…

I think you’re exactly right. And I also think the Celtics should file a formal grievance with the league against the Cavs now that the trade is over and try to get Adam Silver to create some sort of sanction on the Cavs behavior.

Isn’t she literally this guy’s daughter? Or am I misremembering the Mara family tree?

These protesters would almost certainly answer “yes” about the Wire, fyi