Take anyone successful at standup comedy and they will mop the floor when handling a buffoon.

if it’s true that russia has been cultivating donald for five years, i see that as noteworthy and i’d like that to be further investigated. agree to disagree, i guess.

“We can still speak in this country, and what you’re doing to me... I make an appeal to all you people,” he said as he was escorted off the plane. 

To be fair, the only thing she stole from the podiatrist’s website was footnotes.

I have been told by Mexican/Latino/Hispanic men that a man of that heritage would never date me because I have opinions, talk too much, and don’t know how to defer to a man. I did date a guy who was of Dominican and Ecuadorian heritage once. His dad asked him every week if he “was still with the red head.” It seems…

It’s definitely a Mexican grandma thing. She grew up in that male dominated culture and the gross patriarchy that ruined her, so she didn’t want us to have the same experiences. All her seven kids, minus one married white people. I just remember her saying that Mex men are machismo, domineering, abusers, and cheaters.…

Yup, in the end the woman has to establish a stalemate in the relationship (don’t leave Laird but don’t marry him either!) and exhaust herself (attend an Ivy League and handle a major nonprofit!), just to appease all the men in her life. One could argue that she isn’t fully dependent on Laird because she will…

Also Franco is pushing 40, and he’s still playing a millennial? (Co star is 22, natch)

The final straw is Ned’s discovery that Laird has convinced Stephanie to drop out of Stanford in order to helm a Gates-style humanitarian foundation sponsored by him, Laird.

Remember that even Jesus flipped tables and whipped motherfuckers.

Also I am real f*cking tired of the narrative that we shouldn’t have stigmas follow the perpetrators for the rest of their life. F*ck that noise 

He was so good in that scene! And Sylvester Stallone is just standing in the background, like he accidentally wandered onto the set of a much better movie.

Interesting takeaway from this election cycle: Turns out that the GOP, the party that routinely wraps itself in the American flag and the Constitution, not really all that interested in democracy.

I know - I kind of got lost in a fantasy of what it would be like if the electoral college took DJT down. It was delicious.

It will change nothing, because the US intelligence community is too paranoid to release the actual evidence behind all this (assuming it exists) because doing so would show Russia how far we’re burrowed into their shit and compromise our methods and possibly people. They’ll take preserving that over fucking Trump,…

So, are we taking bets on what happens next? I’m in a particularly bad and pessimistic mood today, so I’ve got $30 that says this will ultimately change nothing and we have four years of Orange Is The Color Of Rage And Despair to look forward to.

All of these comments are making me feel GREAT about standing up for myself and refusing to register for my upcoming wedding despite my mom’s insistence that I do so. “Now is the time to get all matching dishes!” “I have all matching dishes.” “But you can get kitchen towels that match your decor!” “I have kitchen…

FUCK HAVING CHINA FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER