Wait... you want me to take an active part in my child’s life? I thought I just knock you up and then get to put the kid’s picture on my desk while I harass my female co-workers.

The problem with this, aside from the fact that it’s insane, is that almost anyone would be preferable to Trump? What’s that you say? Clinton is actually just a walking, talking tower of gerbils? Well, they’re less racist and less likely to start a nuclear war than the other guy, so whatever.

I posted today that I’d trust her ghost through a celeb reality medium over Trump. My southern family did not find it funny.

I’d rather have a president with physical ailments than a president who is mentally unhinged and cannot form a coherent sentence. Not to mention Trump doesn’t look so physically healthy himself. He should lay off the KFC.

I don’t know who Martha Raddatz is but if she’s halfway decent at her job Trump is going to lose his shit when she tells him to shut up, sit down and wait his turn.

I actually sort of appreciate the evangelical support for Trump. They might as well just come out and say, “Hey, America! We hate brown people and women more than we love Jesus!”

Thank you for posting the longer quote. Related: I’m going to go throw up now

I assume next week the GOP will move on to something more advanced, like accusing Clinton of having cooties.

Well shit. If the only options are chastity or 12 kids I would choose chastity too. And my feminist dream was lots of premarital sex!

She wasn’t blaming the boy. If you get into a fight with someone over getting the last donut in the box, no one blames the donut even if that’s what the fight was over.

Never blamed a boy. I said the cause was likely over one. But at no point did I say that men are at fault. Its not the young man’s fault, at all. I clearly said this was senseless meaning there was no reason for this young woman to kill another young woman. And now two mothers are grieving over their children.

That was too accurate.

Gary Johnson has somehow, in the span of about 10 seconds, stolen the crown of leading bullshit artist right off of the Republican nominee’s head.

He also inadvertently admitted he has no idea how sex with a willing partner’s vagina works, so there’s that.

You may have a point...

Does Will Smith just take any part given to him as long as he’s a father either separated from his kids or lost them forever?

I mean, as Jewel said: “As a feminist, I can’t support everything that’s being said tonight, but as somebody who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”

“A monster of a human being. The worst person I’ve ever worked with in my life.” - I don’t know, that sounds kind of generous.

And according to a story in Entertainment Weekly, at least one person said they would participate in the roast if everyone agreed not to talk about _____. Lowe said that wouldn’t work because everyone that sits on the dais is a target, said person was demoted to audience member.