Oh my god, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love buying glasses from Zenni. They're so cheap I could die. My wife is super clumsy and throws her glasses around and they break all the time and I don't give a shit because they cost $15.

I love how at the end the bug figures out that the lines won't hurt him and he just walks right over them like it ain't no thang. Go bug!

2008 is 6 years ago, these turtles are 7-9 years old, the raccoons eat newborns, not 1-3 year old turtles. What am I missing here?

Biosafety level 2 doesn't indicate the level of security (ie stopping samples the virus from getting out into the public), it just designates what type of containment the virus itself needs when it's being worked on by researchers, to prevent direct transmission to the researcher.

MY HERO

What crazy timing. I just today saw him in an episode of Burn Notice from a few years ago

I have never in my entire life been to a house with garbage disposal in the kitchen, that I know of. Are they just an American thing, whereas in Canada we just throw that stuff in the garbage?

This one is better, I think:

The poster isn't saying that the kitchen is no place for a woman. The poster is saying "Ha look at these guys with their ridiculous little saying. At the same time look at these girls and their shallow obsessions with penis size"

Listen: I work at a prestigious government scientific research institute, and when I interviewed for and got the job 8 years ago, I was rocking a mullet. Anything can happen

"Lead on, MacDuff" should be "Lay on, MacDuff"

And that's literally all the Shakespeare trivia I know

You know, now that you mention it, I probably should have a baby. Who's going to carry on the vapid comments when I die? I need a brain to wash

Somehow I'm offended by this. Even though I have no intention of having kids, the fact that someone would suggest I shouldn't just makes me want to have one just to spite them. Congratulations, you've created a spite baby.

This so clever it makes me want to have a baby just so I can do this and say "neat"

So... Olympics. Where does this kid fall?

Oh here's another beef: people that press the button at a crosswalk (ie a light to stop traffic for pedestrian crossing only), then see a gap in traffic and just go ahead and jaywalk anyway, making me have to stop at a red light for absolutely no reason. If you were going to jaywalk anyway, don't press the button!

Clearly you're not a driver. Share the road

Instead of calling them "beg" buttons, call them "Hi, I'd like to cross the street please. Yes, I'll wait a bit until a few more pedestrians pile up, just like cars have to do at a red light on a less than busy street. No problem, I'm a functioning member of society and I can wait my turn just like everyone else"…

Pedestrians have the right of way at cross walks, and only when they're supposed to be walking. Any other time, they wait their turn, just like any other car/bike/etc that wants to use a road. There's no need for an automatic walk signal, all that does is make every one else wait an extra long time for a red light to…

Oh would you look at that, sochi.ru redirects to sochi2014.com, which is the first hit on Google when you search "sochi"

So, moot on all levels