To be fair, I Googled "sochi" and after 5 pages still never found a link to sochi.ru

You know who spells out web addresses? Old people. If I ever see a band say their website on stage ("find us on the internet at www.wesuck.com") it's because they're old. Anyone under 40 just knows to Google the name of the band and you'll find whatever you need to know

What, no blind Asians?

Question: how come no one is complaining about the Korean guy from Walking Dead dressing in whiteface? Because shut up, this whole thing is stupid, that's why.

Watched this while high. Whoa

God I've been saying this for years. Seems like 5% of drivers in my city are sidezoomers, and 95% lineuppers. Although it also seems like there are more sidezoomers lately, so maybe the thing is catching on.

The unfortunate thing is that this "merge like a zipper" thing only works if EVERY SINGLE DRIVER is on board.…

You know I'm really surprised I didn't figure that out on my own. The part we eat is a root, the leaf is the actual "plant" that's trying to live. Duh

As for celery, I've found that wrapping the whole thing in aluminum foil does wonders. The thing stays crisp for a month, easily

Once upon a time, if I didn't have anyone to talk to at a social gathering, I'd just sit there awkwardly.

Now that I have a smartphone, I can check on my various internet things until something interesting happens around me.

Hey, do you think this applies to radishes too? Because the last few times I left radishes on the stalks, they went limp really fast. Hmmm

Nope. If you add the trick where you roll the intact lemon or lime on the counter to loosen the insides, then you get full penetration, right up to the inner wall. Just try it

Hi, I'm not a professional chef, I'm just some guy with a kitchen. Use a spoon instead of a fork, it conforms to the curvature of the lemon and is way easier to use.
Signed,
Not a chef

There's a floor next to my bed, and that's where the laundry ends up at midnight when I walk in go "Dammit, I forgot about this"

A new job came up, and I competed for it with a coworker. I won, and was awarded a permanent job, whereas he remained on contract for the remainder of his term (about 6 months). So all of a sudden, he just stopped talking to me. I'd say good morning, have a good night, that sort of thing, and he would literally ignore…

Hi, I'm a total dumdum. What happened to the rocket after the satellite was launched? Did I miss something?

It's been photoshopped. I can tell because of the pixels

Looks a lot like my band's website

http://ninetypoundsofugly.com/

No, the problem is that only a small fraction of people know and try to use the zipper merge. Everyone else just piles into the open lane early, comes to a dead stop, and then blames the one guy who went to the end of the lane in an attempt to zipper merge.

Another important point: let the omelet cool on the back burner for a minute or two before attempting to fold. It will deflate considerably, making it easier to fold without cracking along the spine.

And while we're talking about omelet lessons, cook that sucker on the lowest setting you have, with the pan covered.…

Yeah except I never type URLs - all my shit is bookmark based

Amazing. Thanks. Was getting sick of searching for "maps" on Google just to get to Google Maps