You just don't. It sucks

I wish they'd invent something I could use to scratch my nose when I'm in the BSL3. It's almost impossible to do delicate operations when you've got an itch the size of Texas on your nose and you can't get to it.

Alternative, for short term storage: that trick where you stick 'em in water to help them grow also works for just keeping them alive in your fridge for a few weeks

Dressing up like a black person is not the same as blackface. You can't dress up as Cher without the right wig, you can't dress up as a clown without some clown makeup, and you can't dress up as a person of another skin colour without trying to change your skin colour somewhat.

"Racing mode" LOL

My favourite part is when the the cop looks at the road with very smoothly flowing traffic and no accidents or fireballs or beheadings and says "Look at these maniacs, every single one of them is speeding"

I sure hope there's a feature that lets the user take the watchband off and keep the watch in their pocket.

By the way congrats on quitting, that's really great and I'm happy that it was effortless for you. We're the lucky few

I was yelling at idiots on the internet long before I quit smoking. My intolerance for stupidity has nothing to do with nicotine addiction

I gave up smoking cold turkey after 15 years, no cessation aids or anything. And you know what? WE'RE THE EXCEPTION. If it were universally easy to quit, it wouldn't be famous for being one of the most ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES ON THE PLANET. Go soak your head, retard.

In all seriousness: I'm upset that this man will most likely end up as a registered sex offender for the rest of his life due to "indecent exposure", even though according to the police report they entered the shed and closed the door behind them.

He didn't willingly expose himself to anyone, and now he's gonna pay for…

...and what, pray tell, is the point of having a Facebook page if you're not supposed to get people to subscribe to updates by Liking the page?

The invite is a way to say "Hey friend or acquaintance, this is my business or project or whatever, if you're interested in keeping tabs on my progress or news or whatever, hit…

That video was great but I wish they didn't plaster the word "PARODY" for all the slow people...

The slow build towards "foot massager" was brilliant

I got this one from lifehacker years ago, guess everyone forgot about it:

Effective fruit fly trap: apple cider vinegar in a small bowl, with 5 drops of liquid dish soap. Vinegar no longer has surface tension because of soap, flies go for a drink but can't float on surface, and drown.

Of all the the fruit fly traps I've…

...and then there's this. Sorry to ruin everyone's day

"12-Year-Old in Florida Infected by Deadly "Brain-Eating" Amoeba"

(This would be so much easier to explain with pictures, but alas I no longer own a dishwasher so...)

Another way to do this is to take an elastic band that's 1/4-1/2 inch wide, and 3-4 inches long limp, and stretch it between two of the stick dealies (from front to back). You can then put the wine glass over one of…

Wow. I built one of these from scratch using some WAY less attractive materials. It works but it's ugly as hell. Wish I'd seen this post a few months ago...

I built one of these to go inside my cupboard. Really it was just to give them a place to drip dry without getting in the way on the counter top. I put a little tray beneath them that catches the drippings

You should probably update the original story then

I thoroughly read Gawker and Lifehacker and io9 and Jezebel and Gizmodo on a daily basis, and I've never clicked on ad by mistake. I recognize them for what they are and ignore them. It ain't hard.