*Somewhere in a darkened shack in the Massachusetts wilderness, Bill Belichick stands over a steaming cauldron, the cowl of a jet-black hoodie obscuring all but his mouth as fresh blood from an unknown tenth-round draft pick from 2012 drips off of a ceremonial dagger into the bubbling witch’s brew.*

“Double double,…

He would’ve completed those passes if it weren’t for those darn kids!

Let me get this straight - you’re telling me Gase is focusing on some insignificant detail in Monday’s game to victimize his team, all as an elaborate ruse to distract the media from the fact that he’s a terrible coach and his team is a dumpster fire? He might be smarter than we give him credit for...

Lauren, you didn’t mention the delicious subplot: last night Rask played in his 500th career game. It came against the team that drafted him. Like his first game, he got the win, and by the same score too. And after the game he was interviewed by Andrew Raycroft, the man he was traded for.

This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

“You sayin’ there’s a room available?”  - J. Tomsula

“We also see dead people.”

-Each of 70,828 paying MetLife attendees

It looks like they played on the Chargers’ bed.

Defensive Holding!

An Allin who doesn’t cover himself in his own piss and shit while performing? Count me out

St. Louis Team Visits Washington, Immediately Curses Other St. Louis Team Visiting Washington.   

With the regular season about to start, it’s obvious that LeBron will offer no defense against Kanter.

I’m surprised at this anti-Bulgaria post.

To be fair, he has always been a racist asshole, but he just mostly pitched during a time with no social media, so it wasnt covered a ton

He's a rich white guy in America being held accountable for his actions. Of course he's going to feel aggrieved. 

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

Glasnow picked the worst possible time to adopt glasnost.

On one hand, you have the Chinese government who wants the ability to extradite residents of Hong Kong with no oversight. The same Chinese government that regularly disappears people in it’s custody, and is running literal concentration camps for ethnic minorities and political dissidents.