Petchesky was just canned, unbelievable.

The real question is whether a dog named Abu Barker al-Baghdadi would be a good dog? I think so.

As someone who was once part of a similar insurrection against arrogant, incompetent, and condescending management, I want to applaud all of y’all for today’s showing. I’m sure you’re simultaneously enjoying the fun of mutiny while also understanding the risk. Please also know how much it means to us here in the feebl…

One Bad Dog I Met

Whoah. With organizational dysfunction like that, you’d think Kitchens was running G/O Media and could be reached at jim@g-omedia.com to explain why he deliberately violated the union’s contract in his quest to avoid being publicly criticized by people whose job it is to... (checks notes)... publicly criticize! 

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

I thought Deadspin didn’t do ‘Let’s Remember Some Guys’ articles on Sunday.

Fixed! 

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

A Red Sox fan criticizing another team’s fanbase would be like if Arby’s started doing restaurant reviews.

I like how 1-800-AAA-HELP looks a phone number turned into panicked scream.

She failed the Turing Test on her own Instagram. She sucks.

Darling... Your passionate analytics and seamless integration of sustainability and storytelling help me to downsize my enterprise. The knowledge you bring of offshoring opportunities, data mining collaboration and scalability pushes me to think outside of the box.

Billy Joel is the autoplay Farmers Insurance ad of rock radio.

Every season should be Tacko Fall

Tacko Bruiseday

Philadelphia teams are known for low ceilings.

Curt Schilling just DM’ed Drake that he can borrow his ‘97 Ford Thunderbird anytime he’s in town.